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A judge asks the prisoner, What are you charged with? Doing my Christmas shopping early, he replied. That s no offense. How early were you doing this shopping? Before the store opened. People are more violently opposed to fur than they are to leather because it s safer to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs. The mother of three unruly young boys was asked whether or not she d have children if she could do it all over again. Sure, she replied, just not the same ones. Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim? Defendant: No, I did not. Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury? Defendant: Yes, I do. And they re a lot better than the penalty for murder. A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver s license. First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: C Z W I X N O S TA C Z Can you read this? the optician asked. Read it? the Polish guy replied, I know the guy. Birthdays are good for you: The more you have, the longer you live. The author, Sandy Rozelman, is happy to share her love of humor with you.

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9781621479116

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