Overview

Ask any of the residents on Tuscoraura Mountain-high elves, wood elves, garden gnomes, mountain dwarves, or longhouse humans-and they will tell you that in the upcoming election seventeen-year-old Mademoiselle Zena Jeannesdottir is a sure candidate for the next umpire-in-chief of Fire Elf City, one hundred fifty feet up in the treetops.Over and above her good-looks and her knack for politics, Zena has the magic touch...that unique ability to tame a magica tree at the stroke of her fingertips.In one day, her mother upsets it all when she invites the famous Christian druid Johnny Appleseed to preach at the elves' extravagant New Year's Eve party. On a mission to end the hunger and bloodshed plaguing Vinland, he freely offers the Tuscoraura elves the good spell of the Lord Jesus, the apple seed, and the secret to blackflame.But something is rotten in Vinland! Fearing the blackflame's potential as a weapon of mass destruction the Inquisition has launched a manhunt to haul in this ragamuffin preacher before his gifts fall into the wrong hands. Moreover, the high elves are appalled at his crude manners, shabby overalls, and unfashionable tin pot hat. Despite his good intentions, Johnny Appleseed sends Zena's campaign into a tailspin.With the elections just weeks away, Zena is convinced that only the debonair rascal, Enganyon, holds the key to restoring the voters' confidence...and finding true love. All the while her hapless admirer, Lynx, tries to convince her that Enganyon only has eyes for Mademoiselle Florenz Kibblersdottir, her best friend and chief rival on the ballot.When Lynx enlists the help of two rangers' apprentices, Louis and Clarke, they set out on adventures in this humorous and epic alternate history of how medieval Vinland came to be modern Amerika.

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9781734834611

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Reviews

This epic tale of the Tuscoraura Elves manages to pull off a hilarious and insightful parody on our quirks and foibles as Americans while retaining a profound reverence for those values that make us most truly who we are. -Pierre Corneille ...a one of a kind spoof of fantasy tropes mixed with clever plotting, fun characters, and a profound message. -Alex Minturno Never could I have imagined that funny and epic could be such perfect neighbors until I met them among the Tuscoraura Elves. - Sir Benjamin Franklyn A masterclass in American culture. -Sir George Warshington ...the first time fantasy has gone so far as to get so close to home. -Kit Marlowe Lindenberg relies heavily on his extensive experience in real-life medieval combat zones to recreate for the reader a fantasy experience like none other. -Dame Frances Marian

Author Information

Gilchrist Keyes Revel Lindenberg was a twentieth century scholar of Medieval Dwarvish and Elvish languages and culture. After lengthy schooling, he traveled the world as a young gnome, seeking not wisdom but proficiency in foreign languages. Realizing that wisdom would have been the better choice, he tucked himself away in an idyllic mansion overlooking Lake Winnipesaukee to accomplish for the New World what Eddard Gibbons had achieved for the old but with less bias against Christianity and with more dramatic flair and adventuresome verve.

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