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"Every family has a dirty uncle. In my family, it was Uncle Dan. Pour a couple beers in him, and he'd start telling inappropriate jokes in front of the whole disapproving family. ""A girl only has one heart, so playing with her heart is wrong,"" Uncle Dan advised. ""Play with her boobs instead -- she's got two of those."" ""I'm feeling a bit depressed today: I just noticed I've got a gray pubic hair,"" he said. ""I didn't freak out too much when I found it, but the people in the elevator with me looked horrified."" Uncle Dan shook his head sadly and said, ""Some people say there are no rules when it comes to love. Unfortunately for me, the judge disagreed."" ""They say one in every four men is gay, so there must be one in my group of friends,"" Uncle Dan said as he swigged his beer. ""I hope it's Michael - he's super cute."" ""My girlfriend recently became a world-famous porn star,"" Uncle Dan said proudly. ""She's gonna be really angry when she finds out."" ""How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?"" Uncle Dan asked my young cousin, who looked up, confused. ""Only one,"" he said, ""but it takes two paramedics to get it back out."" This book contains years of Uncle Dan's cringey, pervy, inappropriate jokes that ruined many family Thanksgivings, birthday parties, summer barbecues, and Christmases. Don't say you weren't warned!"

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