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Dr. Strean explains--eloquently, clearly, and with validity--why an affair rarely brings lasting fulfillment and why a mature, intimate marriage is the only realistic solution to the quest for an enduring and gratifying relationship. -- Lucy Freeman This is the first serious full-length study of the extramarital affair, one of the most common problems encountered in our therapeutic practice. It is a carefully researched and well-documented book that I strongly recommend as an authoritative and illuminating contribution. It should be read by every psychotherapist and should be on the shelf of every library. -- Reuben Fine, Ph.D.

Or, Freud shall rise again. This psychoanalyst explains the extramarital affair as variations on one shrill note: neurosis derived from early conflicts with parents. It seems that the idea is not sex per se but spiting the marriage partner, who is - you guessed it - a parental substitute; and to this end Strean will exert any effort to explain why cheaters marry the people they do. He is, in fact, more concerned with dredging up the dirt of the marital affair than with the extramarital affair, which despite its prominence in the title, is really relegated to the status of a symptom here. Calling our old friend Oedipus The Royal Road to the Extramarital Affair, Strean patiently explains why this patient or that could not have enjoyable sex with the partner sanctioned by banns: it's like - gulp - incest. And you can tell a lot about a person's stage of fixation by pigeonholing the marital difficulties: power struggles harken back to that frightful anal period ; dependence and possessiveness signal an incompleted oral stage; sadomasochistic marriage partners have never been able to figure out how to separate guilt and anger, another hallmark of the anal conflict. Just what use the average reader is supposed to make of this psychoanalyzing fodder is not clear: explaining the psychodynamics of why some people hop into bed while they are married to another is a far cry from helping someone out of a potentially destructive situation - and Strean is adamant about its potential destructiveness. Mostly for those who want to brush up their Freud. (Kirkus Reviews)

Dr. Strean explains--eloquently, clearly, and with validity--why an affair rarely brings lasting fulfillment and why a mature, intimate marriage is the only realistic solution to the quest for an enduring and gratifying relationship.--Lucy Freeman

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