Overview

A story of secrets, survival, and strength. Shama Shams spent her childhood in her native land of Bangladesh during a time of political turmoil, economic instability, and daily violence. Born the third daughter to her parents, when everyone's hope was for a son, a namesake, her father loved her unconditionally when her mother did not. When her father had to flee to the United States to save his life during the Bangladesh War for Independence in the early 1970s, Shama's mother turned to extreme religion that changed her daughter's life forever. What followed next, when Shama was six years old, was hell on earth that no child should have to endure. She lived with her mother at a religious compound under the rule of a cruel, abusive, and heartless leader. Shama survived physical, mental, and sexual abuse until she was finally rescued by her grandmother. As Shama waited to be reunited with her sisters who lived with their aunt, she was still not safe in her grandmother's home. Shama includes some details of her abuse, so the reader can ultimately understand that even in the worst of situations, the human spirit can survive. When she was ten, Shama's father returned to move his family to the U.S., and her grandmother swore her to secrecy to keep the stories of her abuse to herself and never tell anyone, especially her father. Shama didn't understand, but she loved her grandmother and made the promise. In the U.S., it seemed that every time Shama thought life would be okay, she had to survive another tragedy while living with the shame and guilt sexual abuse survivors often do. This is the true story of what happens when a young girl must fight for her life and confront her family and past to find the truth and to learn about happiness and acceptance as an adult. Now, she's ready to share her story and help others in She Called Me Throwaway.

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9781957366203

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Reviews

"""Shams' memoir addresses the effects of lingering shame and enforced silence and explores how the eventual breaking of that silence made healing possible. The memoir's other major narrative thread chronicles her immigration to America and her efforts to assimilate, learn English, and try to fit in when attending American schools, all the while dealing with the lingering effects of the abuse she'd survived...Shams also writes in detail about the role of therapy and therapists in her healing...The book is valuable as a record of sexual abuse survival that demonstrates the real possibility of healing. Difficult to read but ultimately hopeful and inspiring."" Kirkus Reviews ""She Called Me Throwaway is a riveting memoir of strength and survival. Written in briskly paced, clear prose, Shama Shams' resilience transforms the narrative from a litany of childhood abuses into an inspiring story of acceptance. It begs the question: how can we heal from our past traumas when we won't ever have all the answers? Shams discovers that in her fight to let go of shame, her most powerful weapons are her voice and love. A deeply affecting, resonant read."" Angela Mackintosh, Founder/CEO, WOW! Women On Writing ""This is not only a survivor's story but a fascinating foray into Bangladeshi culture and norms. Shama paints her home country with vivid color and also with a black and white brush of sadness, as a child deeply impacted by an impoverished country and the political upheaval therein. After suffering incomprehensible abuse as a child, Shama is rescued by a father whose only intention is to bring his family to America for a better life. This book is a story like no other I've read. You will be in awe of what the human spirit can endure."" Kandace DeLain Davis, Author, Out of the Night that Covers Me: A Family Memoir ""She Called Me Throwaway is a story of a young girl's endurance, her survival, and the crushing failures of families to confront painful secrets. But ultimately, what stays with you is Shama Shams's resilience and determination. A powerful, haunting read."" Aamina Ahmad, Author, The Return of Faraz Ali ""How much abuse can the human spirit take without breaking? How much abuse is too much before healing becomes nearly impossible? And self-love - will that have a place in the life of a ""throwaway"" child as she grows into an adult? These are the questions at the heart of Shama Shams' memoir. Shams's story begins in Bangladesh under the care of a neglectful mother and family members who turn a blind eye to what happens to her because of that neglect. Once the family has immigrated to the United States, thousands of miles from her abuser and those who looked the other way, Shams is safe. But she'll learn that trauma has a way of living under the skin, of still shaping everything from her sense of self to her relationships. Shams has written a singular story about surviving a childhood filled with traumas no one should have to endure, and about digging past decades of pain, shame, and self-loathing to discover beneath them the human being worthy of life and love."" Beatriz Terrazas, Pulitzer Prize winner, Dallas Morning News"

Author Information

Shama Shams holds a master's degree in religion with an emphasis on Islam from Florida State University and a BA in political science from Agnes Scott College. In her spare time, Shama serves on several nonprofit boards. She Called Me Throwaway is Shama's first book. Her second book, From the Promise to the Pursuit - an American Dream, is a heartfelt examination of the immigrant experience, a tribute to the indomitable spirit of those who embark on this journey, and an exploration of the evolving landscape of the American Dream is scheduled to be released in late 2024. You can find out more about her and her writing on her website, www.writershama.com

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