Overview

“One of the most important books of our modern era” –Amb. Jaime de Bourbon For anyone struggling with conflict, this book can transform you. Negotiating the Nonnegotiable takes you on a journey into the heart and soul of conflict, providing unique insight into the emotional undercurrents that too often sweep us out to sea. With vivid stories of his closed-door sessions with warring political groups, disputing businesspeople, and families in crisis, Daniel Shapiro presents a universally applicable method to successfully navigate conflict.  A deep, provocative book to reflect on and wrestle with, this book can change your life.   Be warned: This book is not a quick fix. Real change takes work. You will learn how to master five emotional dynamics that can sabotage conflict outside your awareness: 1. Vertigo: How can you avoid getting emotionally consumed in conflict? 2. Repetition compulsion: How can you stop repeating the same conflicts again and again? 3. Taboos: How can you discuss sensitive issues at the heart of the conflict? 4. Assault on the sacred: What should you do if your values feel threatened? 5. Identity politics: What can you do if others use politics against you? In our era of discontent, this is just the book we need to resolve conflict in our own lives and in the world around us.

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9780143110170

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Reviews

A masterpiece--clear, insightful, and practical. . . . Highly recommended! --William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes and author of Getting to Yes with Yourself Quite simply, the best book I have ever read on negotiating in situations of extreme conflict. --Matthew Bishop, The Economist Group Brilliant insights to the baffling conundrum of our age, intractable disputes of all kinds. --Daniel Goleman, author Emotional Intelligence Shapiro exposes the myth that humans are primarily rational in their decision making. . . . More importantly, he discusses the conflicts between good and bad that take place in all of us. . . . The world has been enriched with another intelligent lecture on how we should interact with each other. Hopefully this time we will listen. --Forbes Daniel Shapiro gives you the tools to transform yourself. --Rick Kleffel (KQED), Rainbow Light blog I have recommended Shapiro's book more than any other book I have read in quite some time. --PsychCentral A blueprint for successful negotiation. --Booklist Appealing to rationality isn't always the best way to mend a rift; instead, both parties in a negotiation have to be willing to get in touch with the conflict's more emotional underpinnings. In his book, Negotiating the Nonnegotiable [Shapiro] shares the strategies he's used to help people in all kinds of settings access the core emotions driving their conflicts and reach mutually beneficial resolutions. --Business Insider A must-read! Dan Shapiro's Negotiating the Nonnegotiable offers bold, practical, and uplifting advice to reduce the turmoil of conflict and foster reconciliation in your professional and personal life. --Michael Wheeler, Harvard Business School Daniel Shapiro provides us with one of the most optimistic and compelling approaches to conflict resolution of our time. --Howard W. Buffett, Lecturer in International and Public Affairs, Columbia University With telling examples from the bedroom to the boardroom to the war room, this book gives us something invaluable--a way both to see the perils of identity conflict in negotiation and to avoid them. --Robert Cialdini, Author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is one of the most important books of our modern era. --Jaime de Bourbon de Parme, Ambassador of the Netherlands to the Holy See A life-changing book! If you are going to read one book this year to improve your life, choose Negotiating the Nonnegotiable. --Simona Baciu, Founder and President, Transylvania College A modern masterpiece! Bold and compelling from the first page. . . . Every leader should read it and live by it. --Katherine Garrett-Cox, CEO, Alliance Trust Investments Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is sure to be required reading for diplomats and peace-builders alike. --Nancy Lindborg, President, United States Institute of Peace Those seeking peaceful resolutions should keep this book on a bedside table. --David Gergen, former White House adviser; Co-director, Center for Public Leadership, Harvard Kennedy School of Government

Shapiro exposes the myth that humans are primarily rational in their decision making. There s a fundamental conflict between Homo economicus and Homo emoticus the emotional human being. . . . We tend to make decisions based on emotions and then come up with rational justifications after the fact. This conclusion leads to an important question: Is it possible to put a price on emotions? . . . As a psychology professor, Dr. Shapiro is uniquely able to address a number of interesting aspects of negotiation the rest of us often forget. . . . More importantly, he discusses the conflicts between good and bad that take place in all of us . . . . The world has been enriched with another intelligent lecture on how we should interact with each other. Hopefully this time we will listen. Forbes Appealing to rationality isn t always the best way to mend a rift; instead, both parties in a negotiation have to be willing to get in touch with the conflict s more emotional underpinnings. In his book, Negotiating the Nonnegotiable [Shapiro] shares the strategies he s used to help people in all kinds of settings access the core emotions driving their conflicts and reach mutually beneficial resolutions. Business Insider It is important, according to the author, to focus on the space between the conflicting sides in which a solution can be found. Shapiro begins by explaining the Tribes Effect, the force that binds each of us to our communal identity. The same beliefs that bring us together, however, also separate us from other tribes. . . . [Shapiro] offers concrete suggestions on ways to break the pull of these emotional forces, build consensus, and finally bridge the gap between conflicting sides when the ultimate goal is reconciliation of the parties. Personal and global anecdotes bring warmth to the narration, and Shapiro s keen insights give readers a blueprint for successful negotiation. Booklist A masterpiece clear, insightful, and practical. . . . Highly recommended! William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes and author of Getting to Yes with Yourself Daniel Shapiro brings brilliant insights to the baffling conundrum of our age, intractable disputes of all kinds. Negotiating the Nonnegotiable will help anyone bring practical tools to the table whenever confrontation looms. Daniel Goleman, author Emotional Intelligence A must-read! Dan Shapiro s Negotiating the Nonnegotiable offers bold, practical, and uplifting advice to reduce the turmoil of conflict and foster reconciliation in your professional and personal life. Michael Wheeler, Harvard Business School Daniel Shapiro provides us with one of the most optimistic and compelling approaches to conflict resolution of our time. Howard W. Buffett, Lecturer in International and Public Affairs, Columbia University With telling examples from the bedroom to the boardroom to the war room, this book gives us something invaluable a way both to see the perils of identity conflict in negotiation and to avoid them. Robert Cialdini, Author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is one of the most important books of our modern era. Jaime de Bourbon de Parme, Ambassador of the Netherlands to the Holy See A life-changing book! If you are going to read one book this year to improve your life, choose Negotiating the Nonnegotiable. Simona Baciu, Founder and President, Transylvania College Dan Shapiro has written a book that is at once both profound and practical, heartfelt and hopeful . . . Immersion in his wisdom is a must for anyone trying to prevent or resolve conflicts. Matthew Bishop, senior editor The Economist Group and Co-founder of the Social Progress Index A modern masterpiece!Bold and compelling from the first page. . . . Every leader should read it and live by it. Katherine Garrett-Cox, CEO, Alliance Trust Investments Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is sure to be required reading for diplomats and peace-builders alike. Nancy Lindborg, President, United States Institute of Peace Those seeking peaceful resolutions should keep this book on a bedside table. David Gergen, former White House adviser; Co-director, Center for Public Leadership, Harvard Kennedy School of Government From the Hardcover edition.

A masterpiece-clear, insightful, and practical. . . . Highly recommended! -William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes and author of Getting to Yes with Yourself Quite simply, the best book I have ever read on negotiating in situations of extreme conflict. -Matthew Bishop, The Economist Group Brilliant insights to the baffling conundrum of our age, intractable disputes of all kinds. -Daniel Goleman, author Emotional Intelligence Excellent. -David Brooks, The New York Times Shapiro exposes the myth that humans are primarily rational in their decision making. . . . More importantly, he discusses the conflicts between good and bad that take place in all of us. . . . The world has been enriched with another intelligent lecture on how we should interact with each other. Hopefully this time we will listen. -Forbes Daniel Shapiro gives you the tools to transform yourself. -Rick Kleffel (KQED), Rainbow Light blog I have recommended Shapiro's book more than any other book I have read in quite some time. -PsychCentral A blueprint for successful negotiation. -Booklist Appealing to rationality isn't always the best way to mend a rift; instead, both parties in a negotiation have to be willing to get in touch with the conflict's more emotional underpinnings. In his book, Negotiating the Nonnegotiable [Shapiro] shares the strategies he's used to help people in all kinds of settings access the core emotions driving their conflicts and reach mutually beneficial resolutions. -Business Insider A must-read! Dan Shapiro's Negotiating the Nonnegotiable offers bold, practical, and uplifting advice to reduce the turmoil of conflict and foster reconciliation in your professional and personal life. -Michael Wheeler, Harvard Business School Daniel Shapiro provides us with one of the most optimistic and compelling approaches to conflict resolution of our time. -Howard W. Buffett, Lecturer in International and Public Affairs, Columbia University With telling examples from the bedroom to the boardroom to the war room, this book gives us something invaluable-a way both to see the perils of identity conflict in negotiation and to avoid them. -Robert Cialdini, Author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is one of the most important books of our modern era. -Jaime de Bourbon de Parme, Ambassador of the Netherlands to the Holy See A life-changing book! If you are going to read one book this year to improve your life, choose Negotiating the Nonnegotiable. -Simona Baciu, Founder and President, Transylvania College A modern masterpiece! Bold and compelling from the first page. . . . Every leader should read it and live by it. -Katherine Garrett-Cox, CEO, Alliance Trust Investments Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is sure to be required reading for diplomats and peace-builders alike. -Nancy Lindborg, President, United States Institute of Peace Those seeking peaceful resolutions should keep this book on a bedside table. -David Gergen, former White House adviser; Co-director, Center for Public Leadership, Harvard Kennedy School of Government

Author Information

Daniel L. Shapiro is a world renowned expert on the psychology of conflict resolution. Named one of Harvard’s top 15 professors by The Harvard Crimson, he founded and directs the Harvard International Negotiation Program and regularly advises everyone from hostage negotiators to families in crisis, disputing CEOs to clashing heads of state.

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