Overview

A stunningly vulnerable look at the horrific realities of sexual abuse and how to overcome themMale sexual abuse is increasingly in the news, from scandals in the Catholic Church to exploitations at Penn State. Yet books and programs about healing are still overwhelmingly oriented toward the female survivor of abuse. As men who experienced childhood abuse, the authors of this book are uniquely qualified to address the healing process of male survivors. Using the metaphor of a car accident, Naming Our Abuse leads the survivor from the Wreck to the Accident Report to Rehabilitation to Driving Again. This four--step model illustrates that healing is a process to be nurtured rather than something that can be healed in a single telling. Following the authors' examples, readers are invited to find solidarity with other male survivors and develop an understanding of their own wounding through journaling exercises.

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Reviews

Childhood sexual abuse occurs far more often than most people imagine. It is an act that leaves horrific scars--emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual--on the individual. As a counselor, I recommend this book for male survivors who have been greatly wounded by unspeakable horrors. I also recommend this book to clinicians who wish to help. This is a wake-up call for our society to take the blinders off and to understand these atrocities. Most of all, this book is meant to be a story of stories for those who are struggling with how to speak and integrate their memories and feelings into their own healing story and to make peace with the God of the universe. --Mary Hockett, licensed clinical professional counselor (02/10/2016)

Surviving abuse becomes possible when you realize that others who have endured the same horror are on their way to recovery. This book will be a great help to those who have suffered in secret, not knowing if they can tell anyone their story or if they will be believed. Having personally walked with some men who have abuse in their background, I can testify that they have been helped by the encouragement of those who have walked this path before them. Please read this book so you will better understand what many men are facing; and if you have been abused, you will be glad it has been put into your hands. This book was written as an act of love by those who have a heart to reach out to others. --Dr Erwin W. Lutzer, senior pastor, The Moody Church, Chicago (02/10/2016) This is a most important contribution to the faith-based literature on the trauma of male sexual abuse and potential resiliency and recovery. The three narratives offered are deeply moving, brutally honest, incredibly humble, and deeply humane. Those wanting to come alongside hurting persons, or those needing healing in their own lives, will find the book's insights to be authentic, credible, and profoundly grace-filled. I would highly recommend it to the broader Christian community that values careful, critical, and courageous thinking. It is both timely and relevant in these often difficult and challenging times in which we live. --Richard E. Butman, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist; professor of psychology, Wheaton College (02/10/2016) Male survivors of sexual abuse have few opportunities to find their story on the pages of books about childhood sexual abuse. This resource provides them an opportunity both to hear stories of loss and recovery and to begin writing their own. If you are a survivor, I encourage you to find a trusted friend or counselor and to work slowly through this book, examining how you might tell your story (which has not ended!) to yourself. --Philip G. Monroe, PsyD, professor of psychology and counseling, Biblical Theological Seminary (02/10/2016) There is a tenderness present when strong, intelligent men are willing to walk the vulnerable path of self-disclosure about their abuse. These men show us how to proceed. Through the naming of the abuse, embracing their moments of painful weakness and powerlessness, courageously coping and finding ways to fend off scars and confusion, they show us how good men can hold the polarities of abuse and weakness in one hand, and faith, courage, and resilience in the other. This book will help abused men and those who love them to realize that they can find their healing through embracing and telling their stories. --Clark Barshinger, PhD, psychologist (02/10/2016) Rarely has a book about a subject so difficult and taboo left me feeling so encouraged and hopeful. Three different stories of deep personal pain, woven together to tell a story not only of survival but of fullness of life we can all hope for. Honest, difficult to read at times but in the end, affirming. We'll include this book in our online library. --Steve LePore, founder and executive director of 1in6 (02/10/2016) An extraordinary book. Though the topic is intense, there is a sense as you read and engage with it that you are able to experience progress in your own journey of healing. Reading the stories of Andrew, Daniel, and David was sometimes disturbing but always hopeful. In this journey survivors can often feel stuck but the time of reflection, action steps, and coping tips gently nudge you forward. The authors' letters written to themselves as children at the end of the book are deeply moving. They inspire survivors to write your own story and see how God is ultimately drawing you to His light. --Glenn Miles, lecturer at Swansea University (UK); child and vulnerable person advocate (02/10/2016) As a counselor I have longed for a resource like this. Written by men who know, they've done the hard work of healing. These stories invite brothers not to suffer alone, but to find meaning and healing through their suffering. This is a manly book that allows men to be men, to be broken, and to be little boys again. --Chad Griffin, MA, licensed professional counselor, Stenzel Clinical Services (02/10/2016) Gripping stories of redemptive transformation, these stories of terrible pain and tragedy are hard to read, but I am so glad that Andrew, Daniel, and David have invited us in to witness the agony, lament, and transformation that has shaped each of their lives. As you partake of this book, you also will be changed. --Raul Mock, editor, PneumaReview.com (02/10/2016) I stand in awe of the remarkable courage, determination, and hard-won self-respect and integrity that marks the individual journeys of these men. Once you begin reading you will not want to put this book down. Those who have experienced the horrors of sexual abuse will be inspired to face their own journey or to help someone they love face theirs. --Nancy Kane, MS, licensed clinical professional counselor; associate professor, Moody Bible Insti (02/10/2016) In this small and extremely readable book, Andrew Schmutzer, Daniel Gorski, and David Carlson offer a profound gift to those of us who, like me, have yet to fully come to grips with their own sexual abuse. Through these individual stories I found comfort in knowing that, unfortunately, my experience is not so unique that I should fear sharing it openly with others. Using the metaphor of a car accident, the writers excellently depict four basic stages of our sexual abuse. It gave me hope that I may one day reencounter the little boy who was so traumatized, and that he may experience the full joy of childhood that was robbed from him the first go around. --Brandon McCall, childhood sexual abuse survivor (02/10/2016) Sexual abuse is an unspeakable crime, but the evangelical church has been too silent, too unhelpful, for too long. By God's grace, Andrew, Daniel, and David are making a kingdom difference for abused men. The three stories in this book will sober you but they will also thrill you as they point to the way forward: the power of the gospel of God's grace in Jesus to transform broken, shattered lives through both Christ-centered professional care and safe, supportive healing relationships within the body of Christ. May God use this book to stir the church to be the gospel solution. --Rob Bugh, senior pastor, Wheaton Bible Church (02/10/2016) Childhood sexual abuse occurs far more often than most people imagine. It is an act that leaves horrific scars--emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual--on the individual. As a counselor, I recommend this book for male survivors who have been greatly wounded by unspeakable horrors. I also recommend this book to clinicians who wish to help. This is a wake-up call for our society to take the blinders off and to understand these atrocities. Most of all, this book is meant to be a story of stories for those who are struggling with how to speak and integrate their memories and feelings into their own healing story and to make peace with the God of the universe. --Mary Hockett, licensed clinical professional counselor (02/10/2016) Naming Our Abuse is a collection of trail notes from three men who were forced to make impossible decisions, feel contradictory feelings, and become agents in their own failing and flying as they journey toward self-understanding and a new kind of redemption. They walk out on the rope bridge ahead of us. . . and tell of themselves, in order that we might pick up the pen to shape our silence and our tears into words. I pray that this book makes it into every seminary curriculum, onto the shelf of every pastor, and most importantly, into the hands of every survivor of sexual abuse who feels crazy and alone and dirty, never more than when he is in church. Lord, have mercy. --Paul Maxwell, PhD Candidate at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School (02/10/2016) In Naming Our Abuse, the reader has a unique privilege of peering over the shoulders of three older brothers as they share their personal stories and lay out a road map to healing. Their candor calls us to mourn what has escaped our words. This book is unprecedented in the way it uses narratives to address shame and the residue of abuse that resides in the particularity of our stories. Not only do Andrew, Daniel, and David demonstrate a model for healing through storytelling, they also courageously speak to the unique journey of being a son, husband, father, and survivor. Valuable theological reflection combined with insightful therapeutic techniques are woven through their stories and questions, making this a vital resource for pastors, therapists, survivors, and spouses. --Andrew Nutt, MA, adjunct professor and speaker (02/10/2016) In Naming Our Abuse, Andrew, Daniel, and David have not only performed outstanding healing work on their own behalf, but have provided a clear pathway for anyone with a traumatic background who reads their stories. The reader is aided in following their progress from victim to redemption through the analogy of the aftermath of an automobile accident. As a therapist to trauma victims, I look forward to getting this book into the hands of many. --Ken Taylor, psychotherapist and missionary (02/10/2016) Andrew J. Schmutzer, Daniel Gorski, and David Carlson have composed an insightful, sensitive, and helpful work on the devastating epidemic of male sexual abuse. This often neglected trauma is in dire need of accessible and clear resources like this. I look forward to sharing Naming Our Abuse with counselees, colleagues, and ministry partners as we seek to come alongside men who have been devastated by the trauma of sexual abuse. --Stephen Brasel, MA, licensed clinical professional counselor (02/10/2016) Healing from sexual abuse requires that survivors express their thoughts and feelings of grief externally, not just experience them internally. The stories and writing therapy activities in Naming Our Abuse allow wounded men to engage with their stories authentically and are tools of grace that God will use to bring healing and move them forward in their journeys. --James Gould, professor of philosophy, McHenry County College (02/10/2016) I cannot overstate this: Naming Our Abuse is a rare and important book! For those of us who are survivors of abuse, there is only one path to a flourishing life on the other side of the damage of abuse, and this book provides the road map. What I've discovered in my own story is that what is not named is not healed. Naming our abuse in its shamefully graphic detail and grieving its consequences in the context of a safe and kind community, whether in therapy or a recovery group, is the only path to healing. Naming Our Abuse not only provides guidance in getting there, but its three authors show us the combination of courage and kindness it takes to experience a level of healing on this side of the fullness of God's new creation. --Joel Willets, PhD, professor of biblical and theological studies, North Park University (02/10/2016) As a pastor, this book made my eyes water and my blood boil. I am both grateful for and sobered by the raw honesty of Naming Our Abuse. Too often, the church has aggravated the injuries of survivors of sexual abuse through pastoral negligence. Let that be said no longer. The stories of Andrew, Daniel, and David provide a framework for healing that will help any church leader begin caring for the 25 percent of their congregation who have suffered from sexual abuse. May this book lead to an increase in compassionate sermons, a decrease in spiritualized protection of abusers, and safer spaces for healing within the church. --Aaron Damiani, Anglican bishop, Chicago (02/10/2016) Naming Our Abuse is a much-needed resource for men who have been sexually abused. I know this as a counselor who has worked with female survivors of sexual abuse for over thirty years and teaches courses on trauma. I also know it as a mother who is grieved by the knowledge that despite my best efforts to protect my sons from prospective perpetrators, one of them was molested by a visitor in our home. Most books on sexual abuse are geared toward female survivors, making a book that speaks to the unique experiences of male survivors a welcome addition to the field. --Heather Davediuk Gingrich, professor of counseling, Denver Seminary; author of Restoring the Shattered Self (02/10/2016) Silence and shame all too often describe the struggling lives of so many male survivors of sexual abuse. In Naming Our Abuse, these survivors step away from the world of silence and boldly speak about their unspeakable journeys with the hope that their collective voices will empower others who are suffering in silence and shame. These powerful stories bring us that much closer to shattering the silence and shame that has choked the lives of too many for too long. --Boz Tchividjian, executive director, GRACE (02/10/2016)

-Childhood sexual abuse occurs far more often than most people imagine. It is an act that leaves horrific scars--emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual--on the individual. As a counselor, I recommend this book for male survivors who have been greatly wounded by unspeakable horrors. I also recommend this book to clinicians who wish to help. This is a wake-up call for our society to take the blinders off and to understand these atrocities. Most of all, this book is meant to be a story of stories for those who are struggling with how to speak and integrate their memories and feelings into their own healing story and to make peace with the God of the universe.---Mary Hockett, licensed clinical professional counselor (02/10/2016)

There is a tenderness present when strong, intelligent men are willing to walk the vulnerable path of self-disclosure about their abuse. These men show us how to proceed. Through the naming of the abuse, embracing their moments of painful weakness and powerlessness, courageously coping and finding ways to fend off scars and confusion, they show us how good men can hold the polarities of abuse and weakness in one hand, and faith, courage, and resilience in the other. This book will help abused men and those who love them to realize that they can find their healing through embracing and telling their stories. -- (02/10/2016) Surviving abuse becomes possible when you realize that others who have endured the same horror are on their way to recovery. This book will be a great help to those who have suffered in secret, not knowing if they can tell anyone their story or if they will be believed. Having personally walked with some men who have abuse in their background, I can testify that they have been helped by the encouragement of those who have walked this path before them. Please read this book so you will better understand what many men are facing; and if you have been abused, you will be glad it has been put into your hands. This book was written as an act of love by those who have a heart to reach out to others. -- (02/10/2016) This is a most important contribution to the faith-based literature on the trauma of male sexual abuse and potential resiliency and recovery. The three narratives offered are deeply moving, brutally honest, incredibly humble, and deeply humane. Those wanting to come alongside hurting persons, or those needing healing in their own lives, will find the book's insights to be authentic, credible, and profoundly grace-filled. I would highly recommend it to the broader Christian community that values careful, critical, and courageous thinking. It is both timely and relevant in these often difficult and challenging times in which we live. -- (02/10/2016) Male survivors of sexual abuse have few opportunities to find their story on the pages of books about childhood sexual abuse. This resource provides them an opportunity both to hear stories of loss and recovery and to begin writing their own. If you are a survivor, I encourage you to find a trusted friend or counselor and to work slowly through this book, examining how you might tell your story (which has not ended!) to yourself. -- (02/10/2016) Rarely has a book about a subject so difficult and taboo left me feeling so encouraged and hopeful. Three different stories of deep personal pain, woven together to tell a story not only of survival but of fullness of life we can all hope for. Honest, difficult to read at times but in the end, affirming. We'll include this book in our online library. -- (02/10/2016) An extraordinary book. Though the topic is intense, there is a sense as you read and engage with it that you are able to experience progress in your own journey of healing. Reading the stories of Andrew, Daniel, and David was sometimes disturbing but always hopeful. In this journey survivors can often feel stuck but the time of reflection, action steps, and coping tips gently nudge you forward. The authors' letters written to themselves as children at the end of the book are deeply moving. They inspire survivors to write your own story and see how God is ultimately drawing you to His light. -- (02/10/2016) As a counselor I have longed for a resource like this. Written by men who know, they've done the hard work of healing. These stories invite brothers not to suffer alone, but to find meaning and healing through their suffering. This is a manly book that allows men to be men, to be broken, and to be little boys again. -- (02/10/2016) Gripping stories of redemptive transformation, these stories of terrible pain and tragedy are hard to read, but I am so glad that Andrew, Daniel, and David have invited us in to witness the agony, lament, and transformation that has shaped each of their lives. As you partake of this book, you also will be changed. -- (02/10/2016) I stand in awe of the remarkable courage, determination, and hard-won self-respect and integrity that marks the individual journeys of these men. Once you begin reading you will not want to put this book down. Those who have experienced the horrors of sexual abuse will be inspired to face their own journey or to help someone they love face theirs. -- (02/10/2016) In this small and extremely readable book, Andrew Schmutzer, Daniel Gorski, and David Carlson offer a profound gift to those of us who, like me, have yet to fully come to grips with their own sexual abuse. Through these individual stories I found comfort in knowing that, unfortunately, my experience is not so unique that I should fear sharing it openly with others. Using the metaphor of a car accident, the writers excellently depict four basic stages of our sexual abuse. It gave me hope that I may one day reencounter the little boy who was so traumatized, and that he may experience the full joy of childhood that was robbed from him the first go around. -- (02/10/2016) Sexual abuse is an unspeakable crime, but the evangelical church has been too silent, too unhelpful, for too long. By God's grace, Andrew, Daniel, and David are making a kingdom difference for abused men. The three stories in this book will sober you but they will also thrill you as they point to the way forward: the power of the gospel of God's grace in Jesus to transform broken, shattered lives through both Christ-centered professional care and safe, supportive healing relationships within the body of Christ. May God use this book to stir the church to be the gospel solution. -- (02/10/2016) Childhood sexual abuse occurs far more often than most people imagine. It is an act that leaves horrific scars--emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual--on the individual. As a counselor, I recommend this book for male survivors who have been greatly wounded by unspeakable horrors. I also recommend this book to clinicians who wish to help. This is a wake-up call for our society to take the blinders off and to understand these atrocities. Most of all, this book is meant to be a story of stories for those who are struggling with how to speak and integrate their memories and feelings into their own healing story and to make peace with the God of the universe. -- (02/10/2016) Naming Our Abuse is a collection of trail notes from three men who were forced to make impossible decisions, feel contradictory feelings, and become agents in their own failing and flying as they journey toward self-understanding and a new kind of redemption. They walk out on the rope bridge ahead of us. . . and tell of themselves, in order that we might pick up the pen to shape our silence and our tears into words. I pray that this book makes it into every seminary curriculum, onto the shelf of every pastor, and most importantly, into the hands of every survivor of sexual abuse who feels crazy and alone and dirty, never more than when he is in church. Lord, have mercy. -- (02/10/2016) In Naming Our Abuse, the reader has a unique privilege of peering over the shoulders of three older brothers as they share their personal stories and lay out a road map to healing. Their candor calls us to mourn what has escaped our words. This book is unprecedented in the way it uses narratives to address shame and the residue of abuse that resides in the particularity of our stories. Not only do Andrew, Daniel, and David demonstrate a model for healing through storytelling, they also courageously speak to the unique journey of being a son, husband, father, and survivor. Valuable theological reflection combined with insightful therapeutic techniques are woven through their stories and questions, making this a vital resource for pastors, therapists, survivors, and spouses. -- (02/10/2016) In Naming Our Abuse, Andrew, Daniel, and David have not only performed outstanding healing work on their own behalf, but have provided a clear pathway for anyone with a traumatic background who reads their stories. The reader is aided in following their progress from victim to redemption through the analogy of the aftermath of an automobile accident. As a therapist to trauma victims, I look forward to getting this book into the hands of many. -- (02/10/2016) Andrew J. Schmutzer, Daniel Gorski, and David Carlson have composed an insightful, sensitive, and helpful work on the devastating epidemic of male sexual abuse. This often neglected trauma is in dire need of accessible and clear resources like this. I look forward to sharing Naming Our Abuse with counselees, colleagues, and ministry partners as we seek to come alongside men who have been devastated by the trauma of sexual abuse. -- (02/10/2016) Healing from sexual abuse requires that survivors express their thoughts and feelings of grief externally, not just experience them internally. The stories and writing therapy activities in Naming Our Abuse allow wounded men to engage with their stories authentically and are tools of grace that God will use to bring healing and move them forward in their journeys. -- (02/10/2016) I cannot overstate this: Naming Our Abuse is a rare and important book! For those of us who are survivors of abuse, there is only one path to a flourishing life on the other side of the damage of abuse, and this book provides the road map. What I've discovered in my own story is that what is not named is not healed. Naming our abuse in its shamefully graphic detail and grieving its consequences in the context of a safe and kind community, whether in therapy or a recovery group, is the only path to healing. Naming Our Abuse not only provides guidance in getting there, but its three authors show us the combination of courage and kindness it takes to experience a level of healing on this side of the fullness of God's new creation. -- (02/10/2016) As a pastor, this book made my eyes water and my blood boil. I am both grateful for and sobered by the raw honesty of Naming Our Abuse. Too often, the church has aggravated the injuries of survivors of sexual abuse through pastoral negligence. Let that be said no longer. The stories of Andrew, Daniel, and David provide a framework for healing that will help any church leader begin caring for the 25 percent of their congregation who have suffered from sexual abuse. May this book lead to an increase in compassionate sermons, a decrease in spiritualized protection of abusers, and safer spaces for healing within the church. -- (02/10/2016) Naming Our Abuse is a much-needed resource for men who have been sexually abused. I know this as a counselor who has worked with female survivors of sexual abuse for over thirty years and teaches courses on trauma. I also know it as a mother who is grieved by the knowledge that despite my best efforts to protect my sons from prospective perpetrators, one of them was molested by a visitor in our home. Most books on sexual abuse are geared toward female survivors, making a book that speaks to the unique experiences of male survivors a welcome addition to the field. -- (02/10/2016) Silence and shame all too often describe the struggling lives of so many male survivors of sexual abuse. In Naming Our Abuse, these survivors step away from the world of silence and boldly speak about their unspeakable journeys with the hope that their collective voices will empower others who are suffering in silence and shame. These powerful stories bring us that much closer to shattering the silence and shame that has choked the lives of too many for too long. -- (02/10/2016)

Surviving abuse becomes possible when you realize that others who have endured the same horror are on their way to recovery. This book will be a great help to those who have suffered in secret, not knowing if they can tell anyone their story or if they will be believed. Having personally walked with some men who have abuse in their background, I can testify that they have been helped by the encouragement of those who have walked this path before them. Please read this book so you will better understand what many men are facing; and if you have been abused, you will be glad it has been put into your hands. This book was written as an act of love by those who have a heart to reach out to others. -- (02/10/2016) This is a most important contribution to the faith-based literature on the trauma of male sexual abuse and potential resiliency and recovery. The three narratives offered are deeply moving, brutally honest, incredibly humble, and deeply humane. Those wanting to come alongside hurting persons, or those needing healing in their own lives, will find the book's insights to be authentic, credible, and profoundly grace-filled. I would highly recommend it to the broader Christian community that values careful, critical, and courageous thinking. It is both timely and relevant in these often difficult and challenging times in which we live. -- (02/10/2016) Male survivors of sexual abuse have few opportunities to find their story on the pages of books about childhood sexual abuse. This resource provides them an opportunity both to hear stories of loss and recovery and to begin writing their own. If you are a survivor, I encourage you to find a trusted friend or counselor and to work slowly through this book, examining how you might tell your story (which has not ended!) to yourself. -- (02/10/2016) There is a tenderness present when strong, intelligent men are willing to walk the vulnerable path of self-disclosure about their abuse. These men show us how to proceed. Through the naming of the abuse, embracing their moments of painful weakness and powerlessness, courageously coping and finding ways to fend off scars and confusion, they show us how good men can hold the polarities of abuse and weakness in one hand, and faith, courage, and resilience in the other. This book will help abused men and those who love them to realize that they can find their healing through embracing and telling their stories. -- (02/10/2016) Rarely has a book about a subject so difficult and taboo left me feeling so encouraged and hopeful. Three different stories of deep personal pain, woven together to tell a story not only of survival but of fullness of life we can all hope for. Honest, difficult to read at times but in the end, affirming. We'll include this book in our online library. -- (02/10/2016) An extraordinary book. Though the topic is intense, there is a sense as you read and engage with it that you are able to experience progress in your own journey of healing. Reading the stories of Andrew, Daniel, and David was sometimes disturbing but always hopeful. In this journey survivors can often feel stuck but the time of reflection, action steps, and coping tips gently nudge you forward. The authors' letters written to themselves as children at the end of the book are deeply moving. They inspire survivors to write your own story and see how God is ultimately drawing you to His light. -- (02/10/2016) As a counselor I have longed for a resource like this. Written by men who know, they've done the hard work of healing. These stories invite brothers not to suffer alone, but to find meaning and healing through their suffering. This is a manly book that allows men to be men, to be broken, and to be little boys again. -- (02/10/2016) Gripping stories of redemptive transformation, these stories of terrible pain and tragedy are hard to read, but I am so glad that Andrew, Daniel, and David have invited us in to witness the agony, lament, and transformation that has shaped each of their lives. As you partake of this book, you also will be changed. -- (02/10/2016) I stand in awe of the remarkable courage, determination, and hard-won self-respect and integrity that marks the individual journeys of these men. Once you begin reading you will not want to put this book down. Those who have experienced the horrors of sexual abuse will be inspired to face their own journey or to help someone they love face theirs. -- (02/10/2016) In this small and extremely readable book, Andrew Schmutzer, Daniel Gorski, and David Carlson offer a profound gift to those of us who, like me, have yet to fully come to grips with their own sexual abuse. Through these individual stories I found comfort in knowing that, unfortunately, my experience is not so unique that I should fear sharing it openly with others. Using the metaphor of a car accident, the writers excellently depict four basic stages of our sexual abuse. It gave me hope that I may one day reencounter the little boy who was so traumatized, and that he may experience the full joy of childhood that was robbed from him the first go around. -- (02/10/2016) Sexual abuse is an unspeakable crime, but the evangelical church has been too silent, too unhelpful, for too long. By God's grace, Andrew, Daniel, and David are making a kingdom difference for abused men. The three stories in this book will sober you but they will also thrill you as they point to the way forward: the power of the gospel of God's grace in Jesus to transform broken, shattered lives through both Christ-centered professional care and safe, supportive healing relationships within the body of Christ. May God use this book to stir the church to be the gospel solution. -- (02/10/2016) Childhood sexual abuse occurs far more often than most people imagine. It is an act that leaves horrific scars--emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual--on the individual. As a counselor, I recommend this book for male survivors who have been greatly wounded by unspeakable horrors. I also recommend this book to clinicians who wish to help. This is a wake-up call for our society to take the blinders off and to understand these atrocities. Most of all, this book is meant to be a story of stories for those who are struggling with how to speak and integrate their memories and feelings into their own healing story and to make peace with the God of the universe. -- (02/10/2016) Naming Our Abuse is a collection of trail notes from three men who were forced to make impossible decisions, feel contradictory feelings, and become agents in their own failing and flying as they journey toward self-understanding and a new kind of redemption. They walk out on the rope bridge ahead of us. . . and tell of themselves, in order that we might pick up the pen to shape our silence and our tears into words. I pray that this book makes it into every seminary curriculum, onto the shelf of every pastor, and most importantly, into the hands of every survivor of sexual abuse who feels crazy and alone and dirty, never more than when he is in church. Lord, have mercy. -- (02/10/2016) In Naming Our Abuse, the reader has a unique privilege of peering over the shoulders of three older brothers as they share their personal stories and lay out a road map to healing. Their candor calls us to mourn what has escaped our words. This book is unprecedented in the way it uses narratives to address shame and the residue of abuse that resides in the particularity of our stories. Not only do Andrew, Daniel, and David demonstrate a model for healing through storytelling, they also courageously speak to the unique journey of being a son, husband, father, and survivor. Valuable theological reflection combined with insightful therapeutic techniques are woven through their stories and questions, making this a vital resource for pastors, therapists, survivors, and spouses. -- (02/10/2016) In Naming Our Abuse, Andrew, Daniel, and David have not only performed outstanding healing work on their own behalf, but have provided a clear pathway for anyone with a traumatic background who reads their stories. The reader is aided in following their progress from victim to redemption through the analogy of the aftermath of an automobile accident. As a therapist to trauma victims, I look forward to getting this book into the hands of many. -- (02/10/2016) Andrew J. Schmutzer, Daniel Gorski, and David Carlson have composed an insightful, sensitive, and helpful work on the devastating epidemic of male sexual abuse. This often neglected trauma is in dire need of accessible and clear resources like this. I look forward to sharing Naming Our Abuse with counselees, colleagues, and ministry partners as we seek to come alongside men who have been devastated by the trauma of sexual abuse. -- (02/10/2016) Healing from sexual abuse requires that survivors express their thoughts and feelings of grief externally, not just experience them internally. The stories and writing therapy activities in Naming Our Abuse allow wounded men to engage with their stories authentically and are tools of grace that God will use to bring healing and move them forward in their journeys. -- (02/10/2016) I cannot overstate this: Naming Our Abuse is a rare and important book! For those of us who are survivors of abuse, there is only one path to a flourishing life on the other side of the damage of abuse, and this book provides the road map. What I've discovered in my own story is that what is not named is not healed. Naming our abuse in its shamefully graphic detail and grieving its consequences in the context of a safe and kind community, whether in therapy or a recovery group, is the only path to healing. Naming Our Abuse not only provides guidance in getting there, but its three authors show us the combination of courage and kindness it takes to experience a level of healing on this side of the fullness of God's new creation. -- (02/10/2016) As a pastor, this book made my eyes water and my blood boil. I am both grateful for and sobered by the raw honesty of Naming Our Abuse. Too often, the church has aggravated the injuries of survivors of sexual abuse through pastoral negligence. Let that be said no longer. The stories of Andrew, Daniel, and David provide a framework for healing that will help any church leader begin caring for the 25 percent of their congregation who have suffered from sexual abuse. May this book lead to an increase in compassionate sermons, a decrease in spiritualized protection of abusers, and safer spaces for healing within the church. -- (02/10/2016) Naming Our Abuse is a much-needed resource for men who have been sexually abused. I know this as a counselor who has worked with female survivors of sexual abuse for over thirty years and teaches courses on trauma. I also know it as a mother who is grieved by the knowledge that despite my best efforts to protect my sons from prospective perpetrators, one of them was molested by a visitor in our home. Most books on sexual abuse are geared toward female survivors, making a book that speaks to the unique experiences of male survivors a welcome addition to the field. -- (02/10/2016) Silence and shame all too often describe the struggling lives of so many male survivors of sexual abuse. In Naming Our Abuse, these survivors step away from the world of silence and boldly speak about their unspeakable journeys with the hope that their collective voices will empower others who are suffering in silence and shame. These powerful stories bring us that much closer to shattering the silence and shame that has choked the lives of too many for too long. -- (02/10/2016)

Author Information

Andrew Schmutzer is a professor of biblical studies at Moody Bible Institute (Chicago) and a graduate of Dallas Seminary (ThM) and Trinity (PhD). He writes about integrative issues surrounding abuse, trauma, lament, and spiritual formation and speaks regularly on issues of sexual abuse. Daniel Gorski is a thirty-year veteran software engineer, having worked for AT&T, Lucent Technologies, Alcatel-Lucent, and Nokia. He earned a BS in Mathematics and Computer Science from the University of Illinois and an MS in Computer Science from Kansas State University, specializing in expert systems and software automation. David Carlson is a special education teacher, working in the suburbs of Chicago for the majority of his adult life. He takes great pride in being an advocate for his students and their families, helping them to navigate whatever challenges life may present. He is committed to encouraging and supporting male survivors through the various stages of their healing.

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