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FAKE NEWS AND COMMENT FROM IRELAND'S NUMBER ONE TRUSTED SOURCE @MALLOWNEWS Local and national news, sports, entertainment, highlights from Ireland's literary scene, parish notes, obituaries and more! -No vaccine found for second wave of coalition government -Dublin man happy he's solved health crisis by clapping -St Anthony arrested after gardai recover 200,000 worth of stolen goods -Five ways to turn your uncommunicative, GAA-loving husband into an uncommunicative, GAA-loving CONNELL -Rogue Siege of Ennis maims four -Man about to serenade apartment block with 'Galway Girl' taken out by sniper -Irish government agrees Mrs Brown's Boys sufficient reparations for occupation -Exclusive extracts from literary sensations Jesus Christ What a Complete Gobnait and Ordinary Shams

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Stephen Black is an author and lover from Mallow, the Aleppo of North Cork. Taking to Twitter five long years ago in an attempt to quieten the voice of desperation that gnaws at his soul, he now spends each day trying to come up with amusing ways of saying all life is pain and death is the only constant. When he's not screaming into the digital void, he can be found reading a good book or participating in illegal cock fights at one of Mallow's many abandoned warehouses.

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