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9781734572711

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Spot on - codependent perspective helpful The description of the addict-coaddict cycles really hit home, especially the part about the coaddict becoming overvigilant. That was me! I can't quite give up the idea that I might be able to control his behavior by reading his emails, questioning his every move, etc., but I feel I can get there after discussion with him about letting go. The best thing about this book is the theme of changing MY behaviors, not his. Decide what I can and cannot tolerate and stick to my guns. If he screws up, decide how I will deal with it. It was helpful too to read that it is important to make a decision (to stay or go) rather than wallowing in indecision forever. There is no right or wrong answer, but whether I stay in this relationship or not, I need to change my way of thinking in order to be stronger going forward. Obviously, I thought this book was helpful! I did not realize that I have become coaddicted. I am angry, I was in a first marriage where I was determined not to become a coaddict and, I did NOT! I left and got help for the reasons why I loved too much... But, in working so hard in NOT being one in my second marriage AND taking the guilt my second husband put on me, knowing abouty first marriage, I believed him when he said the problem was ME... Kind of... But not deep down, so I worked harder to FIX him and HELP him and in trying to HELP HIM, I find, that I have done just that, become co addictive!! This book has opened my eyes! I am trying so hard now to LET GO AND LET GOD! I will refer back to this book often and plan to read other suggested reading also.

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Christine A. Adams, M.A., has been writing about issues of addiction, relationship, spirituality, and education for over 22 years. She has over 2,000,000 separate books and pamphlets in print with works published in 23 countries translated into 21 languages. Chris, an English teacher, was also formerly trained as an addiction counselor in 1986. However, most of her writing parallels her life experiences. Her early writings were about the alcoholic marriage, adult children of alcoholics, teen alcoholism, and sexual addiction. Then came books about spirituality, relationships, grief therapy and education. One of her best known recovery books is the Elf Help gift book, One Day At A Time Therapy which is still selling in places like Taiwan, Portugal, the Netherlands, Austria, Sweden, Indonesia, Austria and Brazil. Her other books include: Claiming Your Own Life: A Journey to Spirituality--- Holy Relationships--- Living In Love: Connecting To the Power of Love Within--- and ABC's of Grief: A Handbook For Survivors. Her most recent book is a fictional narrative, based on her years of teaching, called The School Factory. Visit her at www.christineaadams.com

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