Overview

When the author's wife, Judith James, was diagnosed with younger-onset Alzheimer's disease in her sixty-first year, they'd been a couple for close to four decades and together had constructed an enviable life. Her diagnosis threatened to up-end that life by casting them adrift in a territory for which they had no map, no compass, and no foreknowledge. Slowly, by trying and failing and trying again, they would navigate that territory, discovering the scale and scope of the challenges her disease presented and, with love and commitment, figuring out how to hold on to the best quality of life possible. In Dear Judy: A Love Story Rewritten by Alzheimer's, the author reconstructs, honestly and with great sensitivity, their shared experience through the multiple advancing stages of the disease, their accommodation of the successive and accelerating losses and the accompanying grief, and the eventual acceptance that allowed light to dissolve the darkness into which their relationship had been unexpectedly cast. We are privy to some of the most intimate moments in a marriage upended by this disease and by the curve balls it would throw, so often when the author and his wife least expected them. In this unflinching meditation and reflection, we learn that life can indeed be enriched by adversity, and that love can, against strong odds, expand, deepen and ultimately reach its fulfillment.

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9798987628621

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Reviews

"Praise for Dear Judy: A Love Story Rewritten by Alzheimer's ""This book is a love story, a tragedy and a crucible story. It examines how one couple behaves when their backs are up against the wall. It's beautifully written, profoundly moving and deeply useful."" - Mary Pipher, New York Times bestselling author of Women Rowing North and Reviving Ophelia ""We learn how to live by observing the lives of others, and this clear, truthful account of a great personal loss can be seen as a gift, showing us how we, too, when inevitably confronted by loss, might gather our strengths and go on."" - Ted Kooser, U. S. Poet Laureate 2004 - 2006 ""Michael James's Dear Judy: A Love Story Rewritten by Alzheimer's is a notable addition to the lengthening list of books about caring for a loved one with dementia. As well as offering graceful prose, compelling pacing, clear organization, and abundant detail including a useful bibliography and notes, Dear Judy is refreshingly candid in its portrayal of the struggling husband in his human vulnerability. Not only as spousal caregiver but also as narrator, James's conscientiousness, patience, and generosity are evident on every page of this poignant memoir."" - Rachel Hadas is the Board of Governors Professor of English Emerita, Rutgers University Newark, and author of more than 20 books of poetry, essays, and translations, including the memoir Strange Relation ""Even though Michael James is writing about the world of Alzheimer's, where words themselves are erased, he finds the language to tell a remarkable story of love and devotion. We see him navigate this heartbreaking place, at first with Judith and then for Judith. He tells their story with honesty and clarity, educating himself and us along the way. He learns to focus on the moment at hand. Where we might expect to find despair, we find instead a place where empathy and compassion are alive."" - Stuart Kestenbaum, writer and poet, Maine Poet Laureate 2016 - 2020, former director of the Haystack Mountain School of Crafts ""In the end, it's all in the details. Also in the beginning. Michael James writes like the artist he is, in the design he's created for telling this involving story, and his accomplished execution, which is mercilessly honest, astonishingly graceful, and always keeps in balance the difference between the beloved and the disease. It is no small feat and the result is quite unforgettable."" - Beth Gutcheon, best-selling author whose novels include More Than You Know, Leeway Cottage, Gossip, and The Affliction"

Author Information

Trained as a visual artist, Michael James has had an unconventional career in both the private sector and academia. His textile art is included in numerous public and private collections, including those of the Smithsonian American Art Museum, the Museum of Arts and Design in New York City, the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston, the Baltimore Museum of Art, and many more. He joined the faculty of the Department of Textiles at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln in 2000, concluding that tenure twenty years later as Professor Emeritus and Chair Emeritus. He is the recipient of two Visual Artist Fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts, and an NEA-sponsored USA-France Exchange Fellowship. He lives in Lincoln, Nebraska, where he continues studio and writing practices, and helps to sustain connections among a close-knit group of husband caregivers of dementia sufferers.

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