Overview

When Diane Papalia and Bob Zappa met in 1986, they both felt an immediate and intense connection. It was not until 2013 that they could finally be together, and they married in 2015. Three short years later, Bob passed away, a victim of hereditary amyloidosis. In Dear Bobby, Diane tells the story of how she dealt with her monumental loss. In her grief, Diane found writing to be especially helpful, so she began writing letters to her late husband a few months after he died. Reflecting on her loss allowed her to confront that loss, find meaning in it, and eventually find peace. The centerpiece of this book is a collection of those letters. In Dear Bobby, Diane talks about the different ways of grieving. She presents several writing prompts to encourage readers to begin their own writing journey. Dear Bobby also offers helpful resources for the reader, including books about death, grieving, coping, and the afterlife. There is a list of films that have afterlife themes. It also includes a list of support groups and organizations for those who are grieving that Diane found helpful.

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Reviews

"""There is so much we don't know as a collective when it comes to energy and the soul, and what happens after death. What I do know from the depths of my own heart, is that the soul knows where home is, and love is the vehicle that leads us there. Spanning lifetime after lifetime. The soul, like love, lives on, even after death. It's us humans who suffer through this heartbreaking journey. Diane Zappa's first book, The Married Widow, cemented the belief that the soul knows the way home. Now, with her second book, Dear Bobby: My Grief Journey, proves once again that true, unconditional love remains. That even death cannot extinguish a love that was written in the stars."" -Jennifer Seitzer ""If you are struggling with deep loss, you will find many handholds here. Diane is a writer who carries you along as easily as a summer wave. Her flowing narrative is a soft place to land, providing understanding along with help in coping with devastating loss. Diane's background in research guided her to accumulate many resources to deal with her own terrible loss when her dear husband suddenly collapsed, never to awaken. She shares all of them generously, including some very touching, intimate, and heartwarming letters to her departed husband that she continues to write. For her, writing is solace: it is both connection and therapy. She encourages you to try, furnishing quotes to prompt your thoughts, and wise advice not to worry about grammar or spelling. As well, you'll find books to read and online groups to join. It's a book you can pick and choose, not read cover to cover, but one to reach for when you need guideposts or understanding. She makes a very hard time just a little easier."" -Jane Moody, retired therapist ""Diane Papalia Zappa has deepened our awareness of grieving a loved one's passing while entering into the infinite, yet navigable, realm of being a widow. Separated by death, yet paradoxically joined for life via innumerable loving memories of everyday living, even newer bonds of affection are forged-so intimately personal, yet so universally welcoming and human. Here is a magnificent portal into the voices of the heart: each chapter enlightens, enriches, and empowers. The 'Dear Bobby' letters are precious. This is a compendium of wisdom, including guidelines for writing and living through one's own grief. This is a must acquisition and a compelling read."" -Ephraim Frankel, PhD, LMFT"

Author Information

Diane Papalia Zappa earned her PhD in lifespan developmental psychology in 1971. She went on to teach human development courses to thousands of students at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, attaining the rank of tenured full professor of child and family studies at the age of 30. While in Madison, she and co-author Sally Wendkos Olds wrote A Child's World (now in its thirteenth edition) and Human Development (in its fifteenth edition). Her memoir, The Married Widow, was published in 2021. In 1986, while still a professor in Madison, she met Frank Zappa's younger brother, Bob, who was the marketing manager for one of her books. They married in 2015.

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