Overview

Modern dating is hard. Modern dating while covered in dog drool is harder. Modern Love, Ancient Chaos is your laugh-out-loud, sitcom-style survival guide to dating in the age of apps, algorithms, and accidental canine sabotage. Season 1 follows three romantically challenged roommates-each armed with wildly different philosophies-as they navigate the absurdity of love, lust, and lint-roller emergencies. Meet the chaos crew: Jules: A romantic idealist with a spreadsheet for every date. Believes love is a solvable equation. Owns 14 scented candles and one very judgmental golden retriever. Max: A chaotic flirt who treats dating apps like a competitive sport. Has never met a red flag he couldn't ignore. Once brought a date to a vet appointment ""for efficiency."" Sasha: A spiritual realist who reads tarot cards before every first date. Believes the stars know best. Keeps a breakup playlist and a bottle of emergency rosé on standby. Inside this emotionally unstable season: Episode 1: The App Trap - Jules builds a dating profile optimized for ""emotional ROI."" Max swipes right on a bot. Sasha gets ghosted by a Gemini. Episode 2: The Dog Date Debacle - A romantic picnic is ruined by a golden retriever with boundary issues and a strong opinion on charcuterie. Episode 3: The Texting Spiral - Jules overthinks punctuation. Max sends a GIF that ends a relationship. Sasha consults her crystals and accidentally texts her ex. Episode 4: The First Date Fiasco - A dinner date turns into a dental emergency. A coffee meetup becomes a job interview. Someone brings their mom. Episode 5: The Ghosting Gala - Max hosts a party to prove he's ""emotionally available."" Only one guest shows up-and it's his therapist. Episode 6: The Compatibility Catastrophe - Jules tries a matchmaking algorithm. Sasha dates a guy who thinks astrology is a sandwich. Max dates himself (literally). Episode 7: The Love Language Breakdown - Misinterpreted gifts, weaponized acts of service, and a very awkward group hug. Episode 8: The Breakup Bake-Off - Sasha copes by baking 47 muffins. Jules writes a breakup haiku. Max tries to win someone back with a PowerPoint. Episode 9: The Rebound Rodeo - A speed-dating event ends in a fire drill. Max flirts with a fire marshal. Jules meets someone who actually likes spreadsheets. Episode 10: The Season Finale - Closure & Canines - A surprise reunion, a heartfelt confession, and a dog wedding that somehow brings everyone together. Perfect for fans of: Sitcoms like New Girl, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, or Lovesick Books like Beach Read, The Love Hypothesis, or Hyperbole and a Half Anyone who's ever tried to flirt while holding a leash and a bag of dog poop Why readers love it: Each episode is short, punchy, and packed with Cold Opens, climaxes, and resolutions Script-style formatting makes it perfect for quick laughs and binge reading Relatable chaos: dating disasters, emotional spirals, and the occasional dog-induced wardrobe malfunction Great gift for romantics, dog lovers, and anyone who's ever been ghosted mid-text Modern Love, Ancient Chaos is not just a book-it's a lint-roller-wielding, emoji-overanalyzing, dog-drool-drenched tribute to the beautiful mess of dating in the modern age. Whether you're swiping, spiraling, or just trying to survive brunch with your ex, this book will make you laugh, cringe, and maybe even believe in love again. Scroll up and grab your copy now. Because the only thing messier than your love life... is your dog's timing.

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