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Buttercup is the name of Tony's 1973 VW camper van. She is bright yellow, the colour of golden optimism, and she saved his life. Buttercup Saved My Life is the story of a year in the life of Tony Bown. Shortly after Christmas Day, 2017, his wife of 27 years, Katharine, told him she was leaving him. Her decision was unexpected, and was a shock for Tony, his family, and close friends of the couple. For two months, Tony spiralled into a deepening despair. He did everything he could to save the marriage. He blamed himself for the failure, he pleaded, cajoled, romanced and begged Katharine to reconsider her decision. He believes that, many times, she almost did. Tony reached the point where he knew exactly when, and how, he would take his own life. His depression was so complete, he was so bewildered and confused, that he saw only one logical way forward. The benefits for his family in the long term would far outweigh any short-term pain caused by his action. Importantly, this is a story of hope. From the depth of despair, Toby describes how he re-built his confidence. He tells how his experiences helped him to realise that this was the beginning of a new chapter, as well as the ending of an old one. Advice from friends, his counsellor, and personal experiences permeate the text as a series of 'tips for how to survive an unexpected divorce'. Tony has tried to create the survival manual that did not exist when he was desperately in need. The reader is left with warmth, a faith in humanity and a belief that no challenge is insurmountable.

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9781911593485

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On the morning of December 29th 2017 my life was perfect. I was happily married with a beautiful family, a fulfilling career and an achievable goal to take early retirement in three years. I felt loved, supported and valued. By the afternoon my perception was destroyed. My wife, after twenty-seven years, casually announced that she was leaving me, and I crumpled. Over the next weeks my despair became complete as I sought both reconciliation and understanding. Neither were forthcoming. Time slowed down, my Universe shrank, and I found myself in the darkest depression, deeply bewildered. Having been known as a positive, optimistic and cheerful member of the local community for countless years, I discovered an unfamiliar me that seemed worthless and pointless. I descended to such a depth that I knew in detail the date, the means and the fine details of how I would take my own life. This book tells the story of my descent, and my recovery. It tells of lessons learned, of wisdom shared, of relationships with people. It tells of how I earned to accept, and then to celebrate, new possibilities, and how Buttercup, my yellow type 2 bay window beautiful VW camper van, was instrumental in saving my life.

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