Overview

"While divorce can be filled with anger, frustration, and bitterness, most divorcing couples want to end their marriage in a manner that preserves their dignity and emotional health, especially if there are children in the picture. They want to prevent irreparable damage to themselves and their children from a long, drawn-out, ugly battle. The Healthy Divorce provides them with the tools to more peacefully negotiate the difficult process of divorce. Filled with checklists, exercises, and rituals—as well as case histories of couples who have successfully used this positive approach—The Healthy Divorce is your essential guide to getting through your divorce without ruining your life or permanently harming your children. The Healthy Divorce empowers couples to negotiate, handle sensitive issues, and resolve conflicts in a way that allows them to emerge from divorce with their emotional well-being intact. The Healthy Divorce includes: The seven keys to a healthy divorce How to separate yourself from the marriage emotionally How to best defuse a dispute before it escalates The best way to handle an uncooperative ex PRAISE FOR THE HEALTHY DIVORCE ""Required reading for anyone contemplating divorce."" Publishers Weekly ""This is an achievable model of what divorcing parents can do that's positive for themselves, their spouse, and their children."" Jay Folberg, Professor Emeritus and Former Dean of the University of San Francisco Law School ""A wonderful book, immensely readable, very human, quite moving...Will help couples divorce in a more civilized way."" Joan B. Kelly, PhD, co-author of Surviving the Break-Up ""Fascinating and informative... This book should prove valuable to those who are contemplating divorce or going through divorce, as well as to mental health professionals from all specialties who treat divorcing adults and children of divorce."" Florence Kaslow, PhD, Past President, International Family Therapy Association"

Full Product Details

Author:   Lois Gold
Publisher:   Sourcebooks, Inc
Imprint:   Sphinx Publishing
Dimensions:   Width: 15.20cm , Height: 3.80cm , Length: 22.90cm
Weight:   0.508kg
ISBN:  

9781572487079

ISBN 10:   1572487070
Pages:   320
Publication Date:   01 January 2009
Audience:   General/trade ,  General
Format:   Paperback
Publisher's Status:   Active
Availability:   In Print  
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Table of Contents

Foreword Preface Acknowledgments Part I: Facing the Crisis of Separation Constructively Chapter 1: The Healthy Way New Divorce Rituals Divorce as a Transition in the Life of the Family What is Divorce Mediation? Is it for You? A New Path Chapter 2: Separation: New Roles, New Rules The Relationship between Divorcing Spouses: Myths and Realities Setting the Stage for Cooperation Discussing Separation What if We Have to Stay Together Until We Can Separate? Can This Marriage Be Healed? Define the Terms of the Separation Sandra and David: A Case History Chapter 3: Timing: The Emotions of Ending a Marriage The Emotional Stages of Divorce Chapter 4: The Seven Keys to a Healthy Divorce The Divorce Honeymoon. The Seven Keys Chapter 5: Healing Your Hurting and Healing Sides Ask Your Wise Mind How to Respond Mapping Your Future How Do You Want to Look Back on This Divorce? Part II: Parenting and Children Chapter 6: Helping Children What the Research Tells Us The CPR of Helping Children: Continuity, Protection, Reassurance Signs of Stress in Children Psychological Tasks of Divorce for Children Reassessing Your Goals as a Parent Chapter 7: Parenting Plans: Transitions to an Unmarried Family What the Legal Terms Mean Is Joint Custody for You? Four Types of Parenting Relationships What is a Parenting Plan? The Eight Basic Components of a Parenting Plan Residential Schedules: What the Research Can Tell Us Parenting Plans and the Developmental Needs of Your Child Drafting the Parenting Plan Chapter 8: Parenting as a Lasting Partnership The Working Relationship How to Develop a Working Relationship as Parents The Pledge of Never Taking a Child Away Part III: Handling Conflict Chapter 9: Border Skirmishes Don't Have to Turn into Nuclear War: How to Handle Conflict The Nature of Conflict Aikido: Responding to Conflict without Escalation Constructive and Destructive Conflict. Ways to Increase Cooperation Chapter 10: How to Talk So Your Spouse Will Listen Creating a Less Defensive Atmosphere: Ground Rules for Reducing Needless Arguments Common Derailers Handling Criticism, or Angry or Verbally Abusive Behavior Chapter 11: Diagnose the Dispute: What Is This Fight Really About? Conflicts Based on Old History How to Handle Disputes with Underlying Issues Conflicts Based on Differences in Values Conflicts Caused by Limited Resources Conflicts Generated by Mistrust The Eight Dangers of Divorce Myopia Part IV: The Fundamentals of Negotiating Chapter 12: Getting Ready to Negotiate Are You Ready to Negotiate? Red Flags: Anticipate the Most Sensitive Issues Accessing Your Resources as a Negotiator Is the Power Balanced? What if Your Spouse Is Stronger? Tips for Naive Negotiators: How to Improve Your Chances of Getting What You Want Fifteen Steps to More Successful Business Meeting Chapter 13: Win-Win Negotiation Strategies Negotiate Around Needs and Interests, Not Positions Always Look at Both Sides Stating the Problem Well: The Critical First Step Reframing: How to Use Neutral Language Chapter 14: Working Toward a Settlement Win-Win Negotiating Steps Summary of Win-Win Negotiation Steps Negotiation Session Worksheet Chapter 15: Mediation What to Expect from the Mediation Process How to Work with an Attorney While in Mediation Advantages of Mediation When You Shouldn't Mediate How to Find a Mediator Chapter 16: Lawyers and the Legal Process: What to Expect and How to Reduce the Escalation of Conflict Interviewing and Choosing a Lawyer The Legal Issues Heading off Potential Problems Tips to Reduce the Adversarial Atmosphere and the Escalation of Conflict During the Legal Process Conclusion: The Myth of Justice Part V: Moving Forward Chapter 17: Conflicts After Divorce: Are You Emotionally Divorced? Cold War Is Still War The Psychology of Post-Divorce Conflict The Danger of Negative Mind-Sets About an Ex Four Deadly Attitudes: Unhealthy Emotional Links to the Past Learning to Let Go Healing Rituals for Letting Go and Moving Forward Forgiving Chapter 18: Difficult Spouses/Difficult Ex's: Be Part of the Solution Instead of the Problem Four Steps for Dealing with a Difficult Spouse Understand How You Get Hooked Types of Difficult Spouses Summary: Points to Remember to Reduce Your Stress Chapter 19: Moving Toward the Light Notes

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Author Information

Lois Gold, MSW is the past president of the National Academy of Family Mediators. She received her BS from the University of Pittsburgh and MSW from New York University. She focuses on divorce, family, and workplace mediation in her private therapy practice in Portland, Oregon.

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