Overview

When eight-year-old Maya exploded in rage over being asked to turn off the TV, her foster mother didn't see defiance-she saw grief. Behind the anger was a little girl missing her birth mother so desperately that her emotions had nowhere to go but out. This breakthrough moment changed everything. Foster children's emotions rarely show up in straightforward ways. The grief of separation looks like defiance. The love they feel for you feels so dangerous they express it as rejection. The joy of finally feeling safe brings crushing guilt. Traditional parenting advice falls short because it addresses behaviors without understanding the complex emotions driving them. ""Seeing Through Their Eyes"" offers a revolutionary approach: responding to the emotion behind the behavior instead of just managing what you see on the surface. Drawing from over a decade of caring for more than 100 foster children, Juan Rodriguez Aceves provides the missing piece in foster parenting-a comprehensive guide to understanding and responding to children's emotional communications at every developmental stage, from infants to teens aging out. You'll discover: - Why trauma makes emotions ""complicated"" and how to decode them - Age-specific emotional patterns and what they really mean - How to turn meltdowns into moments of deep connection - Practical strategies for building emotional safety in your home - When behaviors are trauma responses versus typical development This isn't another behavior management manual. It's a roadmap for seeing past challenging behaviors to the hearts of children who desperately need adults who understand their emotional language. Every foster child deserves someone who can see their anger as grief, their defiance as fear, and their rejection as a test of unconditional love. When you learn to speak their emotional language fluently, you're not just improving behaviors-you're healing hearts and building the foundation for all their future relationships. The children in your care are counting on you to see through their eyes.

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