Overview

The bestselling author of Alienated America traveled the country asking families and experts the same questions: why is parenting so much harder even though the kids are less happy than than a generation ago Parenting seems harder these days, and Millennials and Generation Z don’t seem up for it. Why It’s easy to blame cost or selfishness, but kids have long been an economic drag, and adults have always been selfish. The question is: What’s changed The answer is culture. Our culture is less friendly to parenting that it used to be, and should be. When we were kids, no one was watching us every moment. That was a good thing: it meant our parents felt confident in the society around us. That was the past. Today, the mode of parenting is about hypercontrol. Kids must constantly be cosseted, entertained, trained, scheduled, and catechized as little activists and influencers. Timothy P. Carney argues that we need to lighten up and return to the virtues of old-fashioned parenting. We need to give kids space to both fail and succeed, to have adventures and gain unexpected knowledge and enjoy unscheduled time. This means escaping the travel-team trap, abandoning helicopter parenting, strengthening communities, changing the workplace, and ultimately restoring the belief that humans—adults, kids, and babies—are good. It’s no wonder birth rates have dropped, and that our kids are suffering unprecedented anxiety and depression. Our culture sets unreasonable standards for parents, diminishes the value of family, and makes us feel bad for existing. Drawing on rigorous research—both as a reporter and as a dad of six—Carney demonstrates why modern parenting is so misguided. The high standards set for modern American parenting are unrealistic and setting parents—and our kids—up to fail.

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9780063236462

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Reviews

""Americans are overwhelmed by the idea of raising kids--and understandably so. Tim Carney's Family Unfriendly is the book we all need to understand the problems, and then meet them head-on with hope and joy."" -- Arthur Brooks, Harvard Kennedy School; coauthor with Oprah Winfrey of Build the Life You Want ""Family Unfriendly is provocative, funny, warm, and moving. Even when Carney and I disagree, he makes me think hard about what kind of writer, mother, and neighbor I want to be. If more lawmakers and institutions adopted the same curiosity and joy that Carney displays here, American families would be a lot better off."" -- Alyssa Rosenberg, columnist for the Washington Post ""Tim Carney takes an unblinking look at the impact of contemporary culture on marriage, procreation and demography, and family life. He documents what at some level we all know: our culture--and much of our public policy--is decidedly family unfriendly. The results? Declining marriage rates, fewer children, less childhood happiness, and more parental anxiety. But Carney doesn't stop there, as so many conservative cultural critics do. Rather, he points the way to reform and renewal."" -- Robert P. George, McCormick Professor of Jurisprudence at Princeton University ""Family Unfriendly is a treasure: studded with valuable facts that every policymaker needs to know; and sparkling with wit that will delight parents and nonparents alike. Anyone interested in creating a happier home, or a better America, should read this book."" -- Mary Eberstadt, author of Primal Screams and Adam and Eve After the Pill, Revisited

"""Americans are overwhelmed by the idea of raising kids--and understandably so. Tim Carney's Family Unfriendly is the book we all need to understand the problems, and then meet them head-on with hope and joy."" -- Arthur Brooks, Harvard Kennedy School; coauthor with Oprah Winfrey of Build the Life You Want ""Family Unfriendly is provocative, funny, warm, and moving. Even when Carney and I disagree, he makes me think hard about what kind of writer, mother, and neighbor I want to be. If more lawmakers and institutions adopted the same curiosity and joy that Carney displays here, American families would be a lot better off."" -- Alyssa Rosenberg, columnist for the Washington Post ""Tim Carney takes an unblinking look at the impact of contemporary culture on marriage, procreation and demography, and family life. He documents what at some level we all know: our culture--and much of our public policy--is decidedly family unfriendly. The results? Declining marriage rates, fewer children, less childhood happiness, and more parental anxiety. But Carney doesn't stop there, as so many conservative cultural critics do. Rather, he points the way to reform and renewal."" -- Robert P. George, McCormick Professor of Jurisprudence at Princeton University ""Family Unfriendly is a treasure: studded with valuable facts that every policymaker needs to know; and sparkling with wit that will delight parents and nonparents alike. Anyone interested in creating a happier home, or a better America, should read this book."" -- Mary Eberstadt, author of Primal Screams and Adam and Eve After the Pill, Revisited"

Author Information

Timothy P. Carney is the commentary editor at the Washington Examiner and a visiting fellow at the American Enterprise Institute. He is the author of The Big Ripoff: How Big Business and Big Government Steal Your Money and Obamanomics: How Barack Obama is Bankrupting You and Enriching His Wall Street Friends, Corporate Lobbyists, and Union Bosses.

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