Overview

How couples with kids can transform 13 common relationship fights into closer connection, from popular Instagram counselors Erin and Stephen Mitchell (@couples.counseling.for.parents). Parenting changes a couple’s relationship in fundamental ways, but most parents are too exhausted from the demands of life, work, and engaging their kids to prioritize their relationship. This can lead to repeated conflict and an overwhelming sense of anxiety, anger, hurt, and loneliness…just when you need your partner’s support the most. The good news: conflict is actually a sign that you are trying to connect with your partner—you’re just stuck in an old pattern of communication. In Too Tired to Fight, Erin and Stephen Mitchell use their 20-plus years of counseling experience to walk couples through the 13 conflicts that are not just normal but necessary to keep a partnership strong once kids enter the picture, including: The “Your Parenting Is Wrong” Conflict The “I’m More Tired Than You” Conflict The “Stop Choosing Your Family Over Ours” Conflict The “Sex Life? What Sex Life?” Conflict In each scenario, they show how this conflict plays out—and offer scripts, questions for reflection, and their tried-and-true Conflict to Connection Equation that couples can use in the moment to communicate true repair and resolution. Their secret: by expressing your feelings and intentionally listening to your partner—not just venting or reacting to your stress-response system—you can work through the “pain points” of parenthood together and actually make your relationship happier and healthier as a result.

Full Product Details

9780593714270

Table of Contents

Reviews

“A groundbreaking, insightful book that reframes how parents in relationships view conflict. Erin and Stephen Mitchell break down the 13 conflicts that parent couples should—and must—have to create a stronger relationship and family unit in a such a fun and engaging way. Their invaluable Conflict-to-Connection equation used in real-time fights works wonders, and their scripts and questions for reflection are perfect tools to take with you on your parent-couple journey. This should be required reading for all parents in relationships!” —Michele Borba, Ed.D. author of Thrivers: Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine “Too Tired to Fight is a hopeful, practical, relationship-saving resource that every parenting couple needs. Erin and Stephen have given us a gold mine of relatable stories, helpful insights, practical tools and loving scrips to navigate the sacred and often complex terrain of holding on to each other while we simultaneously raise our children.” —Eli Hardwood, author of Securely Attached: Transform Your Attachment Patterns into Loving, Lasting Romantic Relationships

"""Too Tired to Fight provides practical guidance for couples to improve their communication skills. This book is an incredible toolkit that offers tangible examples to navigate tricky conversations and build stronger relationships. By following their strategies, couples can foster deeper understanding and resolve conflicts effectively.” —Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play “A groundbreaking, insightful book that reframes how parents in relationships view conflict. Erin and Stephen Mitchell break down the 13 conflicts that parent couples should—and must—have to create a stronger relationship and family unit in a such a fun and engaging way. Their invaluable Conflict-to-Connection equation used in real-time fights works wonders, and their scripts and questions for reflection are perfect tools to take with you on your parent-couple journey. This should be required reading for all parents in relationships!” —Michele Borba, Ed.D. author of Thrivers: Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine “This book is an invaluable resource for couples and parents. Many people think that conflicts are the sign of an unhealthy relationship, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Too Tired to Fight provides a clear roadmap for how to navigate the most common parenting pitfalls and go from conflict to connection. Using real life dialogue examples and practical tips, it addresses the most common situations couples inevitably find themselves in. The way out is always through. Highly recommended."" —Jessica Joelle Alexander, author of The Danish Way of Parenting “This is first and foremost, not only a parenting book, but a relationship book so intelligent and on point that there are few readers who won't be able to identify with the subtle slights, control issues and genuine confusions over ‘what's fair’ that are present in virtually any relationship--only exacerbated when children enter the picture.  Whether they are dealing with the wife convinced of her over-arching expertise or the husband unable to grasp the unspoken mental load of his partner, the Mitchells' genius is taking two people in gridlock with an ‘impossible’ partner....and turning them into empathic allies.  When you are feeling overwhelmed and less than partnered by your co-parent, this book is the fast track to getting you back to operating as true friends on a shared mission.” —Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D, author of Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love “Your fights will never be the same after reading this book. You will learn how to transform these inevitable moments of conflict into opportunities for better communication, intimacy, and connection. You will also get the tools, insights, and scripts you need to turn this novel approach to conflict into a lasting habit.” —Kaley Klemp and Nate Klemp PhD, authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship “Too Tired to Fight is a hopeful, practical, relationship-saving resource that every parenting couple needs. Erin and Stephen have given us a gold mine of relatable stories, helpful insights, practical tools and loving scrips to navigate the sacred and often complex terrain of holding on to each other while we simultaneously raise our children.” —Eli Hardwood, author of Securely Attached: Transform Your Attachment Patterns into Loving, Lasting Romantic Relationships ""Most parents barely have enough time to make dinner, let alone work on their relationship. Too Tired to Fight changes that: it's full of simple, insightful strategies to help frustrated parents address and resolve inevitable conflicts. Raising kids can drive couples apart—Too Tired to Fight will bring them back together.” —Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes “For a parenting book to be truly impactful in today’s society, it needs to not only contain valuable advice for therapists who work with parents, but also offer specific and practical direction to parents themselves. Too Tired to Fight by authors Erin and Stephen Mitchell does exactly that. In this book, parents will learn a strategic approach to handling 13 essential conflicts that will allow them to embrace these conflicts rather than avoid them…..Therapists working with parents will feel like they have a front row seat to observe effective and efficient therapeutic interventions from couples representing diverse experiences and challenging parenting situations….This will truly be a valuable asset for any couple who wants to understand the challenges presented by parenting in today’s world.” —Dr. Ron Welch, clinical psychologist and author of 10 Choices for a Better Marriage “Too Tired to Fight is the book I wish I had while navigating new motherhood and struggling to keep my marriage from running off the rails. Through humor, honesty, and personal stories from real partnered couples, authors Erin and Stephen Mitchell teach readers how to transform conflict into practical strategies for emotional intimacy and personal growth. I believe this is the book every parenting couple needs on their shelves to maintain a thriving relationship amid the chaos of early parenting.” —Amber Wardell, Ph.D., author of Beyond Self-Care Potato Chips: Choosing Nourishing Self-Care in a Quick-Fix Culture"

"“A groundbreaking, insightful book that reframes how parents in relationships view conflict. Erin and Stephen Mitchell break down the 13 conflicts that parent couples should—and must—have to create a stronger relationship and family unit in a such a fun and engaging way. Their invaluable Conflict-to-Connection equation used in real-time fights works wonders, and their scripts and questions for reflection are perfect tools to take with you on your parent-couple journey. This should be required reading for all parents in relationships!” —Michele Borba, Ed.D. author of Thrivers: Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine “Your fights will never be the same after reading this book. You will learn how to transform these inevitable moments of conflict into opportunities for better communication, intimacy, and connection. You will also get the tools, insights, and scripts you need to turn this novel approach to conflict into a lasting habit.” —Kaley Klemp and Nate Klemp PhD, authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship “Too Tired to Fight is a hopeful, practical, relationship-saving resource that every parenting couple needs. Erin and Stephen have given us a gold mine of relatable stories, helpful insights, practical tools and loving scrips to navigate the sacred and often complex terrain of holding on to each other while we simultaneously raise our children.” —Eli Hardwood, author of Securely Attached: Transform Your Attachment Patterns into Loving, Lasting Romantic Relationships ""Most parents barely have enough time to make dinner, let alone work on their relationship. Too Tired to Fight changes that: it's full of simple, insightful strategies to help frustrated parents address and resolve inevitable conflicts. Raising kids can drive couples apart—Too Tired to Fight will bring them back together.” —Melinda Wenner Moyer, author of How to Raise Kids Who Aren’t Assholes “For a parenting book to be truly impactful in today’s society, it needs to not only contain valuable advice for therapists who work with parents, but also offer specific and practical direction to parents themselves. Too Tired to Fight by authors Erin and Stephen Mitchell does exactly that. In this book, parents will learn a strategic approach to handling 13 essential conflicts that will allow them to embrace these conflicts rather than avoid them…..Therapists working with parents will feel like they have a front row seat to observe effective and efficient therapeutic interventions from couples representing diverse experiences and challenging parenting situations….This will truly be a valuable asset for any couple who wants to understand the challenges presented by parenting in today’s world.” —Dr. Ron Welch, clinical psychologist and author of 10 Choices for a Better Marriage “Too Tired to Fight is the book I wish I had while navigating new motherhood and struggling to keep my marriage from running off the rails. Through humor, honesty, and personal stories from real partnered couples, authors Erin and Stephen Mitchell teach readers how to transform conflict into practical strategies for emotional intimacy and personal growth. I believe this is the book every parenting couple needs on their shelves to maintain a thriving relationship amid the chaos of early parenting.” —Amber Wardell, Ph.D., author of Beyond Self-Care Potato Chips: Choosing Nourishing Self-Care in a Quick-Fix Culture"

Author Information

Erin and Stephen Mitchell are the cofounders of Couples Counseling for Parents, a company focused on providing access to research-informed, psychologically sound online education for couples. Both have a clinical education—Stephen, a PhD in medical family therapy, and Erin, a master’s degree in counseling psychology—and they have a combined 23 years of experience providing counseling and education. They have been married for 16 years and have three kids.

Tab Content 6

Customer Reviews

Recent Reviews

Countries Available