Overview

""This lucid and wonderful book provides the reader with a compelling autobiographical account of the intricate life journey of a prominent trauma therapist and his courageous road to healing. Frank Anderson gently shows how his life's work has its roots in his own history-his troubled upbringing, the relatively late emergence of his sexual identity (that clearly led to a vastly heightened capacity for intimacy), and the courageous transition to raising two sons in a two-male-parent household. A passionate, courageous, and inspiring work."" -Bessel van der Kolk, MD, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller The Body Keeps the Score ""A harrowingly self-revealing and tenderly self-loving memoir of trauma and transformation, by my colleague, respected psychiatrist, therapist, and teacher, Dr. Frank Anderson."" -Gabor Maté, MD, author of the instant New York Times bestseller, The Myth of Normal ""Leading trauma expert Frank Anderson gifts us with an intimate and vulnerable glimpse into his personal journey of self-discovery to overcome his own childhood trauma. To Be Loved is a beautifully written and empowering story of resilience, healing, and forgiveness that offers hope for all survivors of childhood trauma."" -Nicole LePera, PhD, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller How to Be the Love You Seek and How to Do the Work ""To Be Loved captures the precious fragility of a childhood impacted in equal measure by authentic love and deep dysfunction. Filled with humor, empathy, and candid self-reflection, Frank's story demonstrates the power of love to heal trauma, develop resilience, and ultimately find forgiveness and restoration."" -Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author, TED speaker, co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, and Dear Therapist columnist for The Atlantic Rarely does a trauma therapist disclose their own trauma history . . . yet it's the untold, brutally honest, incredibly heartbreaking story of Dr. Frank Anderson that made him the world-renowned trauma expert he is today. Known for his magnetic and radiant personality, Frank spends his time training thousands of clinicians around the world on how to help clients with complex trauma make sense of their suffering. But underneath this charismatic exterior are his dark family secrets, including the marks of child abuse from his father and the invisible scars of shame. His colleagues and fellow therapists would never know this . . . until now. In To Be Loved, Frank shares his confusing experience of growing up an outsider in a typical midwestern Italian American home that was at one turn fiercely loving but at the same time unaccepting, abusive, and rife with secrets. After enduring six years of therapy as a child in the 1970s, he was programmed to be something that he wasn't for decades, and became driven to create the perfect life-complete with a family, a successful career and a house with white picket fence in the suburbs-until it all fell apart. It was only then that he realized resilience, forgiveness and facing his trauma were the keys to living an authentic life-and finally knowing what it feels like to be loved.

Full Product Details

9781962305112

Table of Contents

Reviews

"""Leading trauma expert Frank Anderson gifts us with an intimate and vulnerable glimpse into his personal journey of self-discovery to overcome his own childhood trauma. To Be Loved is a beautifully written and empowering story of resilience, healing, and forgiveness that offers hope for all survivors of childhood trauma."" --Nicole LePera, PhD, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller How to Be the Love You Seek and How to Do the Work ""To Be Loved captures the precious fragility of a childhood impacted in equal measure by authentic love and deep dysfunction. Filled with humor, empathy, and candid self-reflection, Frank's story demonstrates the power of love to heal trauma, develop resilience, and ultimately find forgiveness and restoration."" --Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author, TED speaker, co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, and ""Dear Therapist"" columnist for The Atlantic ""Frank Anderson has been my friend and mentee for many years, and from the beginning I saw the tremendous leadership potential that he is now manifesting. When most leaders reach his level, they write about the epiphanies and glorious victories that got them to where they are. In this compelling and beautifully written book, Frank models for us all a different and far more valuable approach. He has an amazing memory of the details of growing up in a colorful, Mafia-connected Italian family in Chicago, so it holds your interest like a good novel. But he also shares the traumas of having a physically abusive father, an enmeshed but unprotective mother, and the process of recognizing and owning his gay identity. With courageous disclosure, he also reveals how he repeated dysfunctional patterns from his childhood in his adult relationships and in his parenting. His happy ending is well-earned and his journey is full of lessons for us all."" --Richard C. Schwartz, PhD, founder of Internal Family Systems therapy and author of No Bad Parts ""To Be Loved is the journey of one of our top trauma experts, Frank Anderson, MD--his personal account of healing, self-acceptance, achievement, and finding long-lasting love. As a film producer with an extensive childhood trauma history, reading Frank's beautifully told story gave me hope that no matter what a person has gone through, it is within reach to create a happy and stable life unencumbered by fear, loneliness, and resentment."" --Alexandra Ryan, two-time Emmy-nominated film and television producer ""A heartbreaking, yet remarkable story of transcending childhood trauma. Through Dr. Anderson's vulnerable exploration of his past, we can all learn how to find forgiveness and become more compassionate and loving caregivers. An inspiring, must-read memoir for anyone who has experienced childhood trauma or has a loved one who has suffered through this ordeal."" --Shefali Tsabary, PhD, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent ""In To Be Loved, trauma recovery expert Frank Anderson takes us on a deeply personal journey through the cultural and societal changes that reshaped America's understanding of love, family, mental health, and what it means to truly belong. Embedded within this unforgettable story is the vital insight that recovery and resilience come from forgiving not only our perpetrators of trauma and abuse but also healing the perpetrator within ourselves."" --Alexandra Solomon, PhD, author of Love Every Day and host of Reimagining Love podcast ""Frank Anderson has woven the stories of his life into a book that will both enthrall and uplift you. He writes with wisdom and compassion about the roller coaster of being human, and the result is a vivid picture of how healing and growth actually happen."" --Robert J. Waldinger, MD, professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School ""The courage and care of this powerful memoir invites us to share a journey from childhood trauma and alienation to professional and personal success. Along the way, we are inspired to reflect on how our own minds work and ways to empower ourselves to face challenging relationships with integrity, compassion, and forgiveness. Thank you, Frank Anderson, for the gift of this powerful life reflection!"" --Daniel J. Siegel, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Mindsight, Aware, and The Whole-Brain Child ""In a world where trauma experts can appear flawless, Dr. Frank Anderson's To Be Loved is a breath of fresh air and a testament to the power of authenticity. Dr. Anderson doesn't just preach about trauma healing; he lives it. His profound belief in 'trauma blocks love, and love heals trauma' isn't just a catchphrase; it's a philosophy he embodies, inspiring us all to approach healing trauma with authenticity and love."" --Mastin Kipp, creator of Functional Life Coaching(TM) and bestselling author of Claim Your Power ""To Be Loved draws you in from the very first page. By bravely sharing his own story of healing, Frank has given the world the gift of an incredible memoir. But he's done so much more than that. Thanks to Frank's unique expertise in healing trauma, his story provides a blueprint for all of us who are seeking healing, love, and forgiveness."" --Seanne Winslow, award-winning writer, director, and producer who has worked on Nowhere (the second most popular non-English movie in Netflix history), The Lego Movie, and The Falconer ""Frank Anderson understands his patients, not just because he is a brilliant clinician, but because he has lived his own deeply painful childhood experiences and has dedicated his life to healing himself as well as others. His new memoir, To Be Loved, is an honest look at what it means to be in a family, to experience generations of trauma, and to be the one who has to finally wake up and refuse to pass it on to his children. I read this book in two days. I couldn't put it down. To Be Loved is a fascinating story of transformation and will help any reader understand what it means to truly grow up."" --Tammy Nelson, PhD, TEDx speaker, relationship therapist, and author of six books including Open Monogamy ""Frank Anderson's To Be Loved, is a unique coming of age story that is a powerful read for trauma survivors and LGBTQIA+ readers. Frank shines a spotlight on the forces of family and cultural trauma that shape our understanding of who we are and what we can become. This beautiful story is a beacon of hope for anyone seeking support in the journey toward resilience, forgiveness and love."" -Paul Denniston, creator of Grief Yoga(R) and author of Healing Through Yoga: Transform Loss intoEmpowerment"

"""In To Be Loved, Dr. Frank Anderson masterfully weaves together his traumatic childhood story with lessons of resilience, truth, and authenticity. It takes an enormous amount of courage for the expert to show his own vulnerable journey of healing. This book will inspire readers to utilize his hard-won tools for processing their own past and discovering a more hopeful future."" --David Kessler, renowned grief specialist and author of Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief ""To Be Loved is a unique and deeply personal narrative that stands out in the genre of self-authored trauma histories. Knowing Frank personally, I can attest to the authenticity and depth he brings to his life's work, making this book an invaluable read for anyone interested in understanding the full spectrum of human emotion and the path to healing."" --Matthias Barker, LMHC, CEO, Trauma Institute ""Leading trauma expert Frank Anderson gifts us with an intimate and vulnerable glimpse into his personal journey of self-discovery to overcome his own childhood trauma. To Be Loved is a beautifully written and empowering story of resilience, healing, and forgiveness that offers hope for all survivors of childhood trauma."" --Nicole LePera, PhD, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller How to Be the Love You Seek and How to Do the Work ""To Be Loved captures the precious fragility of a childhood impacted in equal measure by authentic love and deep dysfunction. Filled with humor, empathy, and candid self-reflection, Frank's story demonstrates the power of love to heal trauma, develop resilience, and ultimately find forgiveness and restoration."" --Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, TED speaker, co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, and ""Dear Therapist"" columnist for The Atlantic ""Frank Anderson has been my friend and mentee for many years, and from the beginning I saw the tremendous leadership potential that he is now manifesting. When most leaders reach his level, they write about the epiphanies and glorious victories that got them to where they are. In this compelling and beautifully written book, Frank models for us all a different and far more valuable approach. He has an amazing memory of the details of growing up in a colorful, Mafia-connected Italian family in Chicago, so it holds your interest like a good novel. But he also shares the traumas of having a physically abusive father, an enmeshed but unprotective mother, and the process of recognizing and owning his gay identity. With courageous disclosure, he also reveals how he repeated dysfunctional patterns from his childhood in his adult relationships and in his parenting. His happy ending is well-earned and his journey is full of lessons for us all."" --Richard C. Schwartz, PhD, founder of Internal Family Systems therapy and author of No Bad Parts ""To Be Loved is the journey of one of our top trauma experts, Frank Anderson, MD--his personal account of healing, self-acceptance, achievement, and finding long-lasting love. As a film producer with an extensive childhood trauma history, reading Frank's beautifully told story gave me hope that no matter what a person has gone through, it is within reach to create a happy and stable life unencumbered by fear, loneliness, and resentment."" --Alexandra Ryan, two-time Emmy-nominated film and television producer ""A heartbreaking, yet remarkable story of transcending childhood trauma. Through Dr. Anderson's vulnerable exploration of his past, we can all learn how to find forgiveness and become more compassionate and loving caregivers. An inspiring, must-read memoir for anyone who has experienced childhood trauma or has a loved one who has suffered through this ordeal."" --Shefali Tsabary, PhD, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent ""In To Be Loved, trauma recovery expert Frank Anderson takes us on a deeply personal journey through the cultural and societal changes that reshaped America's understanding of love, family, mental health, and what it means to truly belong. Embedded within this unforgettable story is the vital insight that recovery and resilience come from forgiving not only our perpetrators of trauma and abuse but also healing the perpetrator within ourselves."" --Alexandra Solomon, PhD, author of Love Every Day and host of Reimagining Love podcast ""Frank Anderson has woven the stories of his life into a book that will both enthrall and uplift you. He writes with wisdom and compassion about the roller coaster of being human, and the result is a vivid picture of how healing and growth actually happen."" --Robert J. Waldinger, MD, professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School ""The courage and care of this powerful memoir invites us to share a journey from childhood trauma and alienation to professional and personal success. Along the way, we are inspired to reflect on how our own minds work and ways to empower ourselves to face challenging relationships with integrity, compassion, and forgiveness. Thank you, Frank Anderson, for the gift of this powerful life reflection!"" --Daniel J. Siegel, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Mindsight, Aware, and The Whole-Brain Child ""In a world where trauma experts can appear flawless, Dr. Frank Anderson's To Be Loved is a breath of fresh air and a testament to the power of authenticity. Dr. Anderson doesn't just preach about trauma healing; he lives it. His profound belief in 'trauma blocks love, and love heals trauma' isn't just a catchphrase; it's a philosophy he embodies, inspiring us all to approach healing trauma with authenticity and love."" --Mastin Kipp, creator of Functional Life Coaching(TM) and bestselling author of Claim Your Power ""To Be Loved draws you in from the very first page. By bravely sharing his own story of healing, Frank has given the world the gift of an incredible memoir. But he's done so much more than that. Thanks to Frank's unique expertise in healing trauma, his story provides a blueprint for all of us who are seeking healing, love, and forgiveness."" --Seanne Winslow, award-winning writer, director, and producer who has worked on Nowhere (the second most popular non-English movie in Netflix history), The Lego Movie, and The Falconer ""Frank Anderson understands his patients, not just because he is a brilliant clinician, but because he has lived his own deeply painful childhood experiences and has dedicated his life to healing himself as well as others. His new memoir, To Be Loved, is an honest look at what it means to be in a family, to experience generations of trauma, and to be the one who has to finally wake up and refuse to pass it on to his children. I read this book in two days. I couldn't put it down. To Be Loved is a fascinating story of transformation and will help any reader understand what it means to truly grow up."" --Tammy Nelson, PhD, TEDx speaker, relationship therapist, and author of six books including Open Monogamy ""Frank Anderson's To Be Loved, is a unique coming of age story that is a powerful read for trauma survivors and LGBTQIA+ readers. Frank shines a spotlight on the forces of family and cultural trauma that shape our understanding of who we are and what we can become. This beautiful story is a beacon of hope for anyone seeking support in the journey toward resilience, forgiveness and love."" -Paul Denniston, creator of Grief Yoga(R) and author of Healing Through Yoga: Transform Loss intoEmpowerment"

"""In To Be Loved, Dr. Frank Anderson masterfully weaves together his traumatic childhood story with lessons of resilience, truth, and authenticity. It takes an enormous amount of courage for the expert to show his own vulnerable journey of healing. This book will inspire readers to utilize his hard-won tools for processing their own past and discovering a more hopeful future."" --David Kessler, renowned grief specialist and author of Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief ""To Be Loved is a unique and deeply personal narrative that stands out in the genre of self-authored trauma histories. Knowing Frank personally, I can attest to the authenticity and depth he brings to his life's work, making this book an invaluable read for anyone interested in understanding the full spectrum of human emotion and the path to healing."" --Matthias Barker, LMHC, CEO, Trauma Institute ""Leading trauma expert Frank Anderson gifts us with an intimate and vulnerable glimpse into his personal journey of self-discovery to overcome his own childhood trauma. To Be Loved is a beautifully written and empowering story of resilience, healing, and forgiveness that offers hope for all survivors of childhood trauma."" --Nicole LePera, PhD, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller How to Be the Love You Seek and How to Do the Work ""To Be Loved captures the precious fragility of a childhood impacted in equal measure by authentic love and deep dysfunction. Filled with humor, empathy, and candid self-reflection, Frank's story demonstrates the power of love to heal trauma, develop resilience, and ultimately find forgiveness and restoration."" --Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author, TED speaker, co-host of the popular Dear Therapists podcast, and ""Dear Therapist"" columnist for The Atlantic ""Frank Anderson has been my friend and mentee for many years, and from the beginning I saw the tremendous leadership potential that he is now manifesting. When most leaders reach his level, they write about the epiphanies and glorious victories that got them to where they are. In this compelling and beautifully written book, Frank models for us all a different and far more valuable approach. He has an amazing memory of the details of growing up in a colorful, Mafia-connected Italian family in Chicago, so it holds your interest like a good novel. But he also shares the traumas of having a physically abusive father, an enmeshed but unprotective mother, and the process of recognizing and owning his gay identity. With courageous disclosure, he also reveals how he repeated dysfunctional patterns from his childhood in his adult relationships and in his parenting. His happy ending is well-earned and his journey is full of lessons for us all."" --Richard C. Schwartz, PhD, founder of Internal Family Systems therapy and author of No Bad Parts ""To Be Loved is the journey of one of our top trauma experts, Frank Anderson, MD--his personal account of healing, self-acceptance, achievement, and finding long-lasting love. As a film producer with an extensive childhood trauma history, reading Frank's beautifully told story gave me hope that no matter what a person has gone through, it is within reach to create a happy and stable life unencumbered by fear, loneliness, and resentment."" --Alexandra Ryan, two-time Emmy-nominated film and television producer ""A heartbreaking, yet remarkable story of transcending childhood trauma. Through Dr. Anderson's vulnerable exploration of his past, we can all learn how to find forgiveness and become more compassionate and loving caregivers. An inspiring, must-read memoir for anyone who has experienced childhood trauma or has a loved one who has suffered through this ordeal."" --Shefali Tsabary, PhD, clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent ""In To Be Loved, trauma recovery expert Frank Anderson takes us on a deeply personal journey through the cultural and societal changes that reshaped America's understanding of love, family, mental health, and what it means to truly belong. Embedded within this unforgettable story is the vital insight that recovery and resilience come from forgiving not only our perpetrators of trauma and abuse but also healing the perpetrator within ourselves."" --Alexandra Solomon, PhD, author of Love Every Day and host of Reimagining Love podcast ""Frank Anderson has woven the stories of his life into a book that will both enthrall and uplift you. He writes with wisdom and compassion about the roller coaster of being human, and the result is a vivid picture of how healing and growth actually happen."" --Robert J. Waldinger, MD, professor of psychiatry, Harvard Medical School ""The courage and care of this powerful memoir invites us to share a journey from childhood trauma and alienation to professional and personal success. Along the way, we are inspired to reflect on how our own minds work and ways to empower ourselves to face challenging relationships with integrity, compassion, and forgiveness. Thank you, Frank Anderson, for the gift of this powerful life reflection!"" --Daniel J. Siegel, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Mindsight, Aware, and The Whole-Brain Child ""In a world where trauma experts can appear flawless, Dr. Frank Anderson's To Be Loved is a breath of fresh air and a testament to the power of authenticity. Dr. Anderson doesn't just preach about trauma healing; he lives it. His profound belief in 'trauma blocks love, and love heals trauma' isn't just a catchphrase; it's a philosophy he embodies, inspiring us all to approach healing trauma with authenticity and love."" --Mastin Kipp, creator of Functional Life Coaching(TM) and bestselling author of Claim Your Power ""To Be Loved draws you in from the very first page. By bravely sharing his own story of healing, Frank has given the world the gift of an incredible memoir. But he's done so much more than that. Thanks to Frank's unique expertise in healing trauma, his story provides a blueprint for all of us who are seeking healing, love, and forgiveness."" --Seanne Winslow, award-winning writer, director, and producer who has worked on Nowhere (the second most popular non-English movie in Netflix history), The Lego Movie, and The Falconer ""Frank Anderson understands his patients, not just because he is a brilliant clinician, but because he has lived his own deeply painful childhood experiences and has dedicated his life to healing himself as well as others. His new memoir, To Be Loved, is an honest look at what it means to be in a family, to experience generations of trauma, and to be the one who has to finally wake up and refuse to pass it on to his children. I read this book in two days. I couldn't put it down. To Be Loved is a fascinating story of transformation and will help any reader understand what it means to truly grow up."" --Tammy Nelson, PhD, TEDx speaker, relationship therapist, and author of six books including Open Monogamy ""Frank Anderson's To Be Loved, is a unique coming of age story that is a powerful read for trauma survivors and LGBTQIA+ readers. Frank shines a spotlight on the forces of family and cultural trauma that shape our understanding of who we are and what we can become. This beautiful story is a beacon of hope for anyone seeking support in the journey toward resilience, forgiveness and love."" -Paul Denniston, creator of Grief Yoga(R) and author of Healing Through Yoga: Transform Loss intoEmpowerment"

Author Information

Frank Anderson, MD, is a world-renowned trauma treatment expert, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, and psychotherapist. He is the acclaimed author of Transcending Trauma and coauthor of Internal Family Systems Skills Training Manual. As a global speaker on the treatment of trauma and dissociation, he is passionate about teaching brain-based psychotherapy and integrating current neuroscience knowledge with the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of therapy. Dr. Anderson believes that traumatic events can have a lasting effect on the well-being and life of an individual and that addressing these events will help lead people down a pathway of healing and forgiveness. Dr. Anderson is the cofounder of The Trauma Institute and Trauma Informed Media, organizations that promote trauma awareness, education, integration, and healing. He is a lead trainer at the IFS Institute under Richard Schwartz and has a long affiliation with the New York Times bestselling author of The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk, MD, and the Trauma Research Institute. Dr. Anderson has also worked with professional dancer and influencer, Julianne Hough, to help her develop a trauma-informed dance component to her KINGRY dance program. Dr. Anderson is dedicated to helping others heal trauma and to bring more love, compassion, and unity to the world. He has been featured in outlets like PIX11 and KTLA. To learn more about Dr. Frank Anderson, visit frankandersonmd.com and on Instagram at @frank_andersonmd.

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