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9781949481792

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Monsters In Love delivers one truth bomb after another. Busting the myth that surface harmony is the sign of a good relationship and that fiery conflict is the mark of one on the brink, this book makes the case that learning to master healthy conflict is the only way to have a healthy intimate relationship that lasts. Consistent with the messaging in the brilliant Somatic Abolitionist books My Grandmother's Hands and The Quaking of America, Resmaa helps us see that the only way we can stand for true, whole-hearted integrity (and hold our intimate partners accountable to their own integrity) is to condition our nervous systems to tolerate the heat of healthy conflict without collapsing to or bullying our beloveds. My partner and I ate this up and are already practicing being less monstery with each other. The best relationship book I've read in a decade. --Lissa Rankin, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Mind Over Medicine and Sacred Medicine We live in a therapy culture, where the focus often is on nurturing, decreasing the heat, and eliminating conflict. In a manner similar to his bestselling books on healing racial trauma in a divided culture, Resmaa shines his bright light on intimate relationships and shows us how to go beyond standard approaches, grow up, and truly become our best selves. This is about becoming adults who can both give and receive love with a level of depth and clarity that is profoundly refreshing, bracing, and ultimately both life- and relationship-saving. An outstanding, unique contribution to our understanding of both the reality and the possibilities of deep intimacy. --Jeffrey Rediger, MD, MDiv, author of Cured Resmaa does it again! Shaking us up in all the necessary ways. Monsters In Love is an authentic, practical, no-nonsense guide to true, lasting love. It will ruffle your relationship up in all the necessary ways to bring it back to balance and health. Resmaa's approach is revolutionary, unfiltered, and bursting with love. Everyone needs these practices in their relationship toolbox. --Mariel Buque, PhD, psychologist and generational trauma expert

Monsters In Love delivers one truth bomb after another. Busting the myth that surface harmony is the sign of a good relationship and that fiery conflict is the mark of one on the brink, this book makes the case that learning to master healthy conflict is the only way to have a healthy intimate relationship that lasts. Consistent with the messaging in the brilliant Somatic Abolitionist books My Grandmother's Hands and The Quaking of America, Resmaa helps us see that the only way we can stand for true, whole-hearted integrity (and hold our intimate partners accountable to their own integrity) is to condition our nervous systems to tolerate the heat of healthy conflict without collapsing to or bullying our beloveds. My partner and I ate this up and are already practicing being less monstery with each other. The best relationship book I've read in a decade. --Lissa Rankin, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Mind Over Medicine and Sacred Medicine

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Resmaa Menakem, MSW, LICSW, SEP, has appeared on both The Oprah Winfrey Show and Dr. Phil as an expert on conflict and violence. He has served as director of counseling services for the Tubman Family Alliance; as behavioral health director for African American Family Services in Minneapolis; as a domestic violence counselor for Wilder Foundation; as a certified Military and Family Life Consultant for the U.S. Armed Forces; as a trauma consultant for the Minneapolis Public Schools; and as a Cultural Somatics consultant for the Minneapolis Police Department. As a Community Care Counselor, he managed the wellness and counseling services for civilians on fifty-three US military bases in Afghanistan. Resmaa studied and trained at Peter Levine's Somatic Experiencing Trauma Institute, as well as with Dr. David Schnarch (author of the bestselling

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