Overview

Build more compassionate, accepting, and loving relationships with acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). Let's face it: Picture-perfect storybook romances don't exist in real life. Couples fight. Feelings of love wax and wane through the years. And the stress and tedium of everyday life and work can often drive a wedge between even the most devoted couples. So, how can you reignite passion and intimacy in your relationship, cultivate greater understanding and compassion between yourself and your partner, and bring the joy back to your love life? In this fully revised and updated edition of ACT with Love, therapist and world-renowned ACT expert Russ Harris shows how developing psychological flexibility--the ability to be in the present moment with openness, awareness, and focus, and to take effective action in line with one's values--can help you and your partner strengthen and deepen your relationship. Also included is new information on attachment theory, powerful mindfulness and self-compassion techniques, and assertiveness and boundary-setting skills. ACT with Love will show you how to: Let go of conflict, open up, and live fully in the present Use mindfulness to increase intimacy, connection, and understanding Resolve painful conflicts and reconcile long-standing differences Act on your values to build a rich and meaningful relationship If you're looking to increase feelings of intimacy, love, and connection with your partner, this book has everything you need to get started--together.

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9781648481635

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Reviews

ACT with Love is jam-packed with practical and clear strategies for improving your relationship. Russ Harris is a world-renowned ACT trainer who teaches ACT in plain, simple, and easy-to-understand language, and this book truly does that--providing a much-needed resource. The many case studies are engaging, and the inclusion of self-compassion is wonderful. I highly recommend this book! --Tamar D. Black, PhD, educational and developmental psychologist, and author of ACT for Treating Children--Tamar D. Black, PhD A new, revised version of the ideal book for couples who want to strengthen their relationship. In a step-by-step approach, this book offers the reader a wealth of techniques to handle difficult thoughts and feelings; let go of unhelpful stories and tactics; and learn new skills for better communicating, negotiating, and appreciating each other. A must-read for anyone who wants to improve their relationship, and an invaluable resource for professionals who work with couples. --Maria Karekla, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist, and associate professor in the department of psychology at the University of Cyprus--Maria Karekla, PhD A warm and life-changing read, for people at any point in their relationship. Harris's writing style is witty and poignant, offering help on issues such as whether to continue with a relationship or end it, how to appreciate your partner, making repairs when things are off course, and developing intimacy. A must-read to enhance your connection with your loved one or to move on from a relationship that isn't working. I cannot recommend this book enough. --Louise McHugh, professor of psychology at University College Dublin, and coauthor of The Self and Perspective Taking--Louise McHugh Having a successful relationship is hard work, especially given all the myths about finding your one true soulmate. In this updated book, Russ Harris explodes these myths and provides you with a practical handbook to navigate the complexities of relationships in a realistic, heartfelt, and meaningful way. You'll be given all the tools and techniques you need to build your relationship and create a connection that is deep, fulfilling, and lasting. --Joe Oliver, PhD, founder of Contextual Consulting, and coauthor of The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Self-Esteem--Joe Oliver, PhD If you are a human being in relationships, ACT with Love has something to offer, with updated content; relatable, inclusive examples; access to audio-guided exercises and worksheets; and exercises you can try out on your own, or with a partner. This edition includes essential skills for healthy communication, negotiating with others, and improving interpersonal intimacy. Russ's writing style and insights bring compassion and authenticity to life on every page. --Sheri Turrell, PhD, psychologist and psychoanalyst in Toronto, ON, Canada; adjunct faculty in the department of psychiatry at the University of Toronto; peer-reviewed acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) trainer; and coauthor of ACT forAdolescents--Sheri Turrell, PhD In this self-help book for individuals navigating relationship stress, Russ Harris does a masterful job of teaching ACT principles: to be in the moment, connect with your values, and improve your relationship. Broken into many brief topics, this book will help you in ways you didn't even know you needed. I highly recommended it for anyone in an intimate relationship. --Michael Twohig, PhD, professor, and coauthor of The Anxious Perfectionist--Michael Twohig, PhD Relationship problems are some of the trickiest challenges that we all face! Understanding the nature of the human heart--as well as the science of human behavior--is critical if you are going to live with love and allow your life to flourish. Russ Harris provides you with the perfect blend of effective scientific methods and a deeply compassionate soul in ACT with Love. Life is hard, read Russ Harris. --Dennis Tirch, PhD, founding director of The Center for Compassion Focused Therapy, and associate clinical professor at Mt. Sinai Medical Center--Dennis Tirch, PhD Russ has done an incredible job teaching you how to nourish your relationship, even when things get rocky. You'll learn how to have deep, intimate moments with your partner; how to deal with conflict without destroying the relationship; how to handle those long-lasting differences; and how to love and be loved. This is a must-read for anyone that wants to have a caring, rich, and meaningful romantic relationship. --Patricia E. Zurita Ona, PsyD, author of Acceptance and Commitment Skills for Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors and Living Beyond OCD Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy--Patricia E. Zurita Ona, PsyD The second edition of ACT with Love provides new guidance on core relationship skills--communication, negotiation, self-compassion, and more. I can imagine a world where I would be able to give this book to anyone ready to publicly commit to a loving relationship. I would offer it with this advice: 'Read it aloud with the person you love. Love is difficult and necessary and the very best in life. These are the secrets!' --Patti Robinson, PhD, consultant, trainer, and coauthor of The Depression Toolkit and The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Depression--Patti Robinson, PhD There seems to be an infinite number of books about building and maintaining solid, loving relationships with others. Few of them possess the evidence to justify their suggestions. Russ Harris offers something different--an evidence-based treatise that is simply profound. Change the way you view and approach relationships for the better. If more people read this book, the epidemic of loneliness would slowly dissipate. --Todd B. Kashdan, author of The Art of Insubordination, and professor of psychology who leads The Well-Being Laboratory at George Mason University--Todd B. Kashdan We all wish to love and be loved, but this is hard to do. In this beautifully written and wise book, we learn how to cultivate deep, loving connection even when we face the inevitable challenges that any relationship brings. This book is a must-read for all couples who wish to create the conditions of deep and lasting love. --John P. Forsyth, professor of psychology and director of the Anxiety Disorders Research Program at the University at Albany, SUNY; and coauthor of The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety and Anxiety Happens--John P. Forsyth by a master developer of ACT is even more practical and relationship-enhancing. By diving into how ACT applies to a broader range of important interpersonal skills, this book gives you the tools you need to take your relationship to another level. Highly recommended. --Steven C. Hayes, PhD, Nevada Foundation Professor of psychology at the University of Nevada, Reno; originator and codeveloper of ACT; and author of A Liberated Mind--Steven C. Hayes, PhD

"""Beautifully written and easy to understand, the second edition of this highly successful book by a master developer of ACT is even more practical and relationship-enhancing. By diving into how ACT applies to a broader range of important interpersonal skills, this book gives you the tools you need to take your relationship to another level. Highly recommended."" --Steven C. Hayes, PhD, Nevada Foundation Professor of psychology at the University of Nevada, Reno; originator and codeveloper of ACT; and author of A Liberated Mind--Steven C. Hayes, PhD ""If you are a human being in relationships, ACT with Love has something to offer, with updated content; relatable, inclusive examples; access to audio-guided exercises and worksheets; and exercises you can try out on your own, or with a partner. This edition includes essential skills for healthy communication, negotiating with others, and improving interpersonal intimacy. Russ's writing style and insights bring compassion and authenticity to life on every page."" --Sheri Turrell, PhD, psychologist and psychoanalyst in Toronto, ON, Canada; adjunct faculty in the department of psychiatry at the University of Toronto; peer-reviewed acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) trainer; and coauthor of ACT for Adolescents--Sheri Turrell, PhD ""ACT with Love is jam-packed with practical and clear strategies for improving your relationship. Russ Harris is a world-renowned ACT trainer who teaches ACT in plain, simple, and easy-to-understand language, and this book truly does that--providing a much-needed resource. The many case studies are engaging, and the inclusion of self-compassion is wonderful. I highly recommend this book!"" --Tamar D. Black, PhD, educational and developmental psychologist, and author of ACT for Treating Children--Tamar D. Black, PhD ""A new, revised version of the ideal book for couples who want to strengthen their relationship. In a step-by-step approach, this book offers the reader a wealth of techniques to handle difficult thoughts and feelings; let go of unhelpful stories and tactics; and learn new skills for better communicating, negotiating, and appreciating each other. A must-read for anyone who wants to improve their relationship, and an invaluable resource for professionals who work with couples."" --Maria Karekla, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist, and associate professor in the department of psychology at the University of Cyprus--Maria Karekla, PhD ""A warm and life-changing read, for people at any point in their relationship. Harris's writing style is witty and poignant, offering help on issues such as whether to continue with a relationship or end it, how to appreciate your partner, making repairs when things are off course, and developing intimacy. A must-read to enhance your connection with your loved one or to move on from a relationship that isn't working. I cannot recommend this book enough."" --Louise McHugh, professor of psychology at University College Dublin, and coauthor of The Self and Perspective Taking--Louise McHugh ""Having a successful relationship is hard work, especially given all the myths about finding your one true soulmate. In this updated book, Russ Harris explodes these myths and provides you with a practical handbook to navigate the complexities of relationships in a realistic, heartfelt, and meaningful way. You'll be given all the tools and techniques you need to build your relationship and create a connection that is deep, fulfilling, and lasting."" --Joe Oliver, PhD, founder of Contextual Consulting, and coauthor of The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Self-Esteem--Joe Oliver, PhD ""In this self-help book for individuals navigating relationship stress, Russ Harris does a masterful job of teaching ACT principles: to be in the moment, connect with your values, and improve your relationship. Broken into many brief topics, this book will help you in ways you didn't even know you needed. I highly recommended it for anyone in an intimate relationship."" --Michael Twohig, PhD, professor, and coauthor of The Anxious Perfectionist--Michael Twohig, PhD ""Relationship problems are some of the trickiest challenges that we all face! Understanding the nature of the human heart--as well as the science of human behavior--is critical if you are going to live with love and allow your life to flourish. Russ Harris provides you with the perfect blend of effective scientific methods and a deeply compassionate soul in ACT with Love. Life is hard, read Russ Harris."" --Dennis Tirch, PhD, founding director of The Center for Compassion Focused Therapy, and associate clinical professor at Mt. Sinai Medical Center--Dennis Tirch, PhD ""Russ has done an incredible job teaching you how to nourish your relationship, even when things get rocky. You'll learn how to have deep, intimate moments with your partner; how to deal with conflict without destroying the relationship; how to handle those long-lasting differences; and how to love and be loved. This is a must-read for anyone that wants to have a caring, rich, and meaningful romantic relationship."" --Patricia E. Zurita Ona, PsyD, author of Acceptance and Commitment Skills for Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors and Living Beyond OCD Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy--Patricia E. Zurita Ona, PsyD ""The second edition of ACT with Love provides new guidance on core relationship skills--communication, negotiation, self-compassion, and more. I can imagine a world where I would be able to give this book to anyone ready to publicly commit to a loving relationship. I would offer it with this advice: 'Read it aloud with the person you love. Love is difficult and necessary and the very best in life. These are the secrets!'"" --Patti Robinson, PhD, consultant, trainer, and coauthor of The Depression Toolkit and The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Depression--Patti Robinson, PhD ""There seems to be an infinite number of books about building and maintaining solid, loving relationships with others. Few of them possess the evidence to justify their suggestions. Russ Harris offers something different--an evidence-based treatise that is simply profound. Change the way you view and approach relationships for the better. If more people read this book, the epidemic of loneliness would slowly dissipate."" --Todd B. Kashdan, author of The Art of Insubordination, and professor of psychology who leads The Well-Being Laboratory at George Mason University--Todd B. Kashdan ""We all wish to love and be loved, but this is hard to do. In this beautifully written and wise book, we learn how to cultivate deep, loving connection even when we face the inevitable challenges that any relationship brings. This book is a must-read for all couples who wish to create the conditions of deep and lasting love."" --John P. Forsyth, professor of psychology and director of the Anxiety Disorders Research Program at the University at Albany, SUNY; and coauthor of The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety and Anxiety Happens--John P. Forsyth"

Author Information

Russ Harris is an internationally acclaimed acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) trainer, and author of the best-selling ACT-based self-help book, The Happiness Trap, which has sold more than one million copies and been published in thirty languages. He is widely renowned for his ability to teach ACT in a way that is simple, clear, and fun—yet extremely practical.

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